


Three Nights in Paradise

by Ladylazarus13



Series: Three Nights in Paradise [1]
Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Vacation, Vacation AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-06-24 10:44:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19722067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladylazarus13/pseuds/Ladylazarus13
Summary: While most of Starfleet would love to visit the pleasure planet Risa, Michael is sure she won't like it. As a xenoanthropologist, it's fascinating, but what is she going to do for three nights in paradise? Of course, the universe is happy to provide an answer in the form of a handsome stranger named Gabriel Lorca.





	1. Chapter 1

"Captain, I don’t understand why you insist on this.”

"You haven't taken leave in two years," Philippa said as she moved her bishop then leaned back in her chair. "You need an opportunity to relax."

Michael moved her rook aggressively to the second platform and knocked Philippa's knight into her open palm. “This is relaxing.”

“I suppose it can be.” Philippa scooted forward, eyes narrowed at the board in contemplation. "But when you're off duty, a change of scenery can make all the difference."

"But Captain." Any protest from Michael snapped shut as Philippa took Michael's queen. It was now her turn to scrutinize the board.

"No buts. I've already arranged for you to beam down to Risa at 0400 tomorrow while we stop at Starbase 12."

Michael looked up from the board in alarm. "The pleasure planet? Captain, the ice caverns of Jador are only a day away on our current schedule. That would be preferable."

"It's not a requirement in _that_ sense, Michael,” the captain stifled a chuckle. “But it will do you good to be around others in a different setting without all the shop talk. Three days of relaxation, I'm quite jealous."

"I enjoy my work, that's not a punishable offense."

"I know and it's an admirable quality. Yet, to be a captain, there are other skills you must learn like…knowing when someone needs a break." Philippa stood up and stretched. "Now take the king I left open and go pack." 

* * *

If Michael didn’t care for her captain or her career, she’d have opened a comm channel to Philippa and given her a piece of her mind. What had she been thinking to book her a room this extravagant?

The lobby had been grand, but her room was over the top. Michael could only imagine what Philippa said to secure it. Each detail meticulous in it’s design and then painted with gold for good measure. It was about four times bigger than her quarters on the Shenzhou, but seemed almost infinite in size with a wall of glass. The cool ocean breeze drifted in from the open door leading out to the balcony where a steam-pool bubbled away. Other than the bathroom, no matter where Michael stood she could see the breathtaking view of the beach lit by millions of stars and the one moon that hadn't set yet. 

The bedroom did provide a control panel to adjust the opacity of the glass and Michael made sure no one could look in. The bed itself was strewn with sumptuous silks and with more pillows than she'd ever seen in her life. When she spotted the horga'hn statue on the bedside table, Michael then understood why the bed could fit six people comfortably. For a single superstitious moment, Michael considered turning it around, but decided against it. She respected the Risian belief system, but she didn't have to believe it herself. 

She dropped her duffel onto the bed and dug out her running outfit. As a xenoanthropologist, she wanted to learn more about the Risian culture first hand, but it could wait until later. For now, she needed to keep some semblance of her usual routine. 

* * *

The first time she spotted him, he was about half a kilometer away running along the shoreline. After a quick warm up, Michael began at a comfortable speed choosing the man in grey as her pacer.

The stars began to hide from sight as one of Risa's suns peeked out on the horizon leaving the sky a pinkish hue. It wasn’t unusual for runners to be up before dawn and she was sure that most of them on this beach were Starfleet officers. The man in grey was most likely one. From the chatter in the mess hall and on deck, Risa was a popular destination. But on a planet full of every worldly pleasure imaginable, it surprised her that more of them didn’t sleep in. Michael liked that there were others as disciplined with their routine as her.

As both of Risa's suns rose higher, more people came out to the beach. Some were jogging, some lounging, others splashing in the calm ocean waves. Still Michael kept her eyes on the man in grey. They were well past seven kilometers and she noticed that he’d finally broken a sweat. Michael observed his t-shirt sticking closer to his muscled back and broad shoulders. She chose to ignore why those details were worth noting though.

It was on the way back to the entrance of the beach walkway that she picked up the pace. While Michael didn't want to admit it, she had a competitive edge. Sometimes it seemed that was the only acceptable emotion Vulcans could subtly display. After all, it was only logical to try your best or why exert time and energy. But Michael would relish a little too long in the pride she felt once she'd proven herself.

So when she passed the man in grey, she couldn’t suppress her triumphant little smile. Yet, it was quickly wiped away when he elongated his strides to surpass her.

For the last three kilometers, they continued this back and forth. The sound of their sneakers against the sand seemed loud to her as they kept pace beside each other. When her breathing became labored, he started to sprint. She caught his smirk from the corner of her eye and a bubble of laughter rose in her as the hotel came back into view. This was definitely a fellow member of Starfleet. For the last half of the kilometer, they raced each other until they got to the stones of the beach walkway.

"Alright, I give, I give," he waved his hands in the air in mock surrender, his chest rising and falling fast.

Michael turned to face him and brought her left foot up into a quad stretch, "That's not necessary. We were not competing."

He placed his hands on his head, his eyes closed as he took in deeper breaths, and Michael took a long look at him.

He was older. Maybe 15 years older than her? But he could keep up. Considering his age and general disposition, he was likely in Starfleet command. After becoming first officer, she continued to train hard. If he was a captain, this man didn't move into a position and let himself become complacent. This was a man who could keep up, disciplined and dedicated. Michael appreciated that.

She also noted that he was handsome, very much so. When he opened his eyes, she noticed that they were bluer than the Risian sky.

"If anyone saw that last bit, they'd say differently." He smirked and she felt herself grow warm under his gaze. "And they'd be impressed that I beat you."

"You did not get here before I did." Michael said with a hint of indignation slipping out before she could hide it. She let go of her stretch to do the other side.

He chuckled. "Well, I expect to see you here at 0500 tomorrow so we can have a rematch." Michael must have given him a look because he continued. "Otherwise you forfeit, and don't you want to win fair and square?”

Michael couldn’t stop herself from smiling. “I look forward to winning then.”

The look in those blue eyes of his seemed to intensify. "I'll see you tomorrow."

It wasn’t until later that afternoon while sitting in the the steam-pool that Michael realized three things. One, she didn't know the name of the man in grey. Two, he could be a con artist. Three, he might have been flirting with her and she surprisingly didn’t mind it. Not one bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here is chapter 1 of a PWP fic that took on a mind of it's own and demanded I throw in some emotions while they're on Risa. This will earn the explicit rating later on. 
> 
> I go into a bit more next chapter, but in case you're wondering a horga'hn is the symbol of Risian sexuality and is meant to call forth that energy. To display it means that you're looking for the Risian rite of Jamaharon. If you've never seen the episode of TNG where Riker plays a prank on Picard before he beams down to Risa, then please do because it's hilarious.
> 
> I'm hoping to update this once a week and I'm aiming for Sunday nights.


	2. Chapter 2

The ice caverns of Jador would have been interesting to explore. The "ice" was actually made of diamonds due to numerous atmospheric events in the planet’s history. But on second thought, did it have a steam-pool to relax her sore muscles? Probably not.

Michael spent most of the afternoon floating in the steam-pool, her PADD in hand. As she settled into her research, Michael could see the benefits of visiting Risa. After all, what happened to a planet and the native culture when it was classified for pleasure? The tourist population swelled to about 1 billion a day, so how did that affect the Risian population?

To start with, she downloaded 163 scientific papers and data files about Risa. Yet, with such a fascinating subject to consider, her mind continued to drift back to the stranger from the beach. It was unnerving. Why couldn't she stay centered? Mulling their conversation over again, she was sure he had been flirting with her. If they had been on a ship or a starbase, she would have shut it down immediately. But there was something about this place and being out of uniform. Something about him. While the files downloaded, one in particular grabbed her attention: R _isa and Jamaharon, the Rites and Sexual Practices of the Risian People and Visiting Non-Natives._

Blushing, she tapped into another application and considered why the man in grey wouldn't leave her thoughts. He was a stranger, but if he was a member of Starfleet as suspected, he could be someone to learn from. Possibly another captain with a new perspective of Starfleet command.

As her thoughts slipped down the rabbit hole, she also considered the possibility that it could be a ploy. Risa was well-known for pleasure, but it was notorious for thieves and con-artists. Most Starfleet officers heard the tales. People who partied too hard and ended up on a deserted beach in nothing but their underwear. Michael assumed this man was a commander, but maybe that was the intent.

So, Michael did a search of active Starfleet captains. It felt inappropriate, but it was necessary to ensure her safety. A few minutes later the computer brought up the search results. After scrolling for some time, she found him. He didn't have the well-kept beard in the headshot, but he still looked good. _Captain - Lorca, Gabriel. USS Buran._

She was tempted to continue browsing the available file about him but decided against it. His name was enough, there was no need to delve in deeper. Now that would cross a line.

With a sigh of relief, Michael stood and headed to the bathroom to get ready for the night. Yes, that's all this would be. Though Philippa had discouraged "shop talk", Michael would use this opportunity to discuss his captaincy. It would be purely professional and now she would be able to stop thinking about him. That was that.

* * *

The hotel restaurant wasn’t as lively as she expected. On a small stage that didn't block the view, an Edosian plucked at a guitar with all three of his hands. A Risian beside him sang a cover of an old, romantic Earth ballad. While the bar had more people around it, small groups or couples sat scattered at tables around the room. Perhaps sunset was too early to party, but Michael preferred the relaxing atmosphere.

After finishing her meal, Michael ordered the drink mentioned constantly by fellow officers: a Risian mai tai. When it arrived, it was pleasant but almost too sweet. Taking small sips was the only way to enjoy it.

Michael powered up the PADD and continued reviewing the research. Clicking on the next file on the rites of jamaharon, she hesitated for a single moment before delving in. The “all that is ours is yours” ideology was too important to gloss over regardless of her opinions about it. The idea of giving your whole being to another person was an overwhelming concept.

When the suns finally set on the horizon, the sky became a brilliant crimson and Risa’s three moons rose. Taking a break, Michael watched the moons travel in a slow arch. The larger moon was in the center, it’s gravitational pull keeping the other two beside it forever. This was the one time of the year when the moons were all in the same phase. Luckily, Michael's last night on Risa would be during the the festival of Lohlunat, the Risian's biggest celebration under the full moons.

Of course, the festival had been adapted for tourists, but it was still one of the most cultural and religious events. It's significance was profound, and she looked forward to observing it.

Before Michael could delve back into her research, she looked over to the bar and to her surprise she saw Gabriel. He really was a handsome man, she could see that even across the room. The easy confidence in his walk, the slow smile on his lips as he spoke with the bartender.

Rather than stare, she pulled the PADD toward her and tried to concentrate. There was no need to analyze him or why her pulse increased after seeing him. He was of a higher rank. It could possibly be inappropriate to pursue. There was _nothing_ to pursue. The growing list was abruptly cut off when she heard him laugh, deep and rich across the room. It was irrational, but she wished everyone could be silent just to hear it better.

Looking back up, Michael saw him take a glass of amber liquid from the bartender. There was now a woman flanking his left side, and Michael's fingers gripped the PADD tight. The woman was a striking blonde, but her face was pursed in displeasure. Michael couldn’t understand why, but then she saw it. A horga'hn was in her hand, the head pointed towards Gabriel whose laugh had now died down.

The horga'hn should be displayed so that others seeking jamaharon could come to you. The statue a way to channel sexual energy into existence. If she had been Risian, the woman would have known not to brandish it like some club.

Gabriel was saying something to the woman, but then paused and his eyes found Michael's. She should have looked away, feeling embarrassed at being caught staring. Instead she was unable to pull her eyes from his. The woman followed his gaze then turned back to him. She continued to speak, but after a strong shake of his head the woman shrugged and sauntered off.

Lifting the PADD back up, she forced herself to concentrate on the words. Whatever she had witnessed did not concern her. The emotions it elicited were irrelevant. Before she could begin to center herself, she heard footsteps approach.

"Mind if I join you? I'm looking for a moment of peace and this looks like the spot." She hadn’t noticed it before, but Gabriel had an Earth accent, somewhere from the south. It wasn’t pronounced but it drawled out on certain words.

"Yes, you are welcome to the other chair." She highlighted the last sentence on her PADD knowing that there was no way she would be able to concentrate now.

Gabriel settled into the chair across from her, his long legs stretched out in front of him. He swirled the amber liquid in his glass before taking a sip.

"If it weren't for the ears, I'd think you were a Vulcan," Gabriel said breaking the quiet between them.

"Thank you." Michael powered down the PADD and set it in front of her.

He chuckled raising his glass to his lips again. "I didn't mean it as an insult."

"I didn’t take it as one. I was raised on Vulcan.”

"Really? Tell me about it." He shifted in his seat to face her head on, his blue eyes sparked with interest. Michael considered it for a moment and decided what to share. After all, her childhood was so tied with Sarek, her Vulcan upbringing, and now regret. Regret for not growing into the promise Sarek thought she could represent.

After taking a quick sip of her mai tai she gave Gabriel some background information. That she was adopted by Ambassador Sarek and Amanda. A few details about growing up on Vulcan and the additional work she had to put in to fit in. She avoided talking about Spock completely.

“Alright, I’ve said enough. It's your turn to share.”

“Well, I like the occasional bourbon.” Gabriel raised his glass to her. “And I grew up on a ranch in Georgia with my parents. My biggest accomplishment was learning how to ride a horse and sharpshoot by the time I was seven. When I showed off riding backward on a horse--.” Gabriel paused, his eyes widened in surprise when Michael outright laughed.

“No, no please continue. I imagined you now riding a horse that way.”

“I guarantee I can, but it sure ain’t comfortable." Gabriel gave her a playful look then continued. "Anyways, Momma Sam thought it was hilarious. My other mom, Tami didn't and wanted me to learn other skills, so I can bake. My family hadn’t been in the business for over a century, but Tami was still proud of it so she taught me the recipe. Ever had a fortune cookie?”

Michael shook her head and Gabriel smiled. “We'll have to fix that someday.”

Her heart jumped hard in her chest at the prospect. Someday? What did that mean? Gabriel held out his right hand, breaking her from her thoughts. 

“Shouldn’t we introduce ourselves? Gabriel Lorca.”

Michael paused for a brief moment, unsure if she should admit to it. Taking a deep breath she reached out grasping his warm hand in a firm grip. “Yes--um I know who you are.”

“Did some research, I see." He grinned and let go of her hand, the roughness of his fingertips against her palm though brief made warmth spread throughout her body.

“Yes a little bit, nothing intrusive. I wanted to make sure you weren’t a criminal and I assumed you were most likely a Starfleet commander and--.” Before Michael could spiral into a full-blown explanation, Gabriel cut her off.

“It’s okay, Burnham. You’re not the only one who does a bit of digging after meeting beautiful strangers on the beach." Gabriel shrugged, "Never know if they’re in it for the long con.”

Michael paused for a brief moment and then gave him a confused look. “Who said anything about beautiful?”

He laughed again, the sound echoing throughout the room and her. It made her feel warm all over again. “You know how to put someone in their place, I like it.” His gaze on her took on an intensity she couldn't identify. “But I am glad.”

She tilted her head in question. “For what?” Gabriel leaned forward in his seat and seemed to be contemplating something. His eyes searched hers and she felt her breath catch in anticipation.

“That we got introductions out of the way.” He said slowly as if changing his words from what he had originally planned. Before she could respond, Gabriel stood and drank the rest of his glass in a single gulp. "Have a good rest of your night, Michael. See you bright and early."

* * *

Michael climbed into the large bed after placing all the pillows onto the floor except for two. Usually, she would do a brief meditation and fall asleep soon after, but tonight was different. Even with the night setting, the shadows of the three moons and their waxing faces stared back at her through the bedroom's floor to ceiling glass wall. Her body thrummed with anticipation that she couldn't shake. 

When she did finally fall asleep, Michael dreamed of laughter rich like honey and blue, blue skies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Michael's first night in Risa is done, but the trip is far from over. I hope you enjoyed this second chapter. If you can, please leave a comment or some kudos! Thanks for reading! :)


	3. Chapter 3

When Michael strolled onto the beach before dawn, Gabriel was already there stretching. They greeted each other with sleepy hellos and then they were off. The sound of the waves and their elevated breathing was all that surrounded them for the 15-kilometer run. No need to fill the silence, instead the pounding of their feet in rhythm across the sand was enough. Towards the end, Michael considered running ahead but didn’t want to move from his side. And though she anticipated it, he never sped up either. They didn’t sprint but finished together. 

"Not up for racing today, Burnham?" Gabriel said, finally breaking that quiet peace that had settled over her. He rolled his shoulders to stretch out the tension. 

"I did not want to embarrass you a second time," Michael said with a perfected Vulcan eyebrow raise. Laughing, Gabriel walked over to the bag he'd left in the sand and pulled out two hydroflasks. He tossed one and she smoothly caught it. 

“So what are your plans today?" 

"I'm going to a historical museum that’s gathered artifacts from five of the largest Risian groups pre-stabilization. It isn't too far from here. You?" Flicking open the cover, Michael took a deep drink of water. 

"I was going to catch up on some reading, but I can do that back on the Buran. Want some company?” 

A yes flew so fast out of Michael’s mouth it shocked her. Of course, he'd noticed and his blue eyes sparkled with amusement. Nodding towards the ocean, Gabriel bent down to untie his laces. "Do I have time for a quick dip?" 

“I’m not leaving for another 2 hours.” 

“Great. I’ll meet you in the lobby around then.” And in one smooth move, Gabriel stood and pulled his grey shirt off and dropped it in his bag. Michael's eyes roamed over the expanse of his bared skin in wonder. The muscles of his torso, the strength in his chest and broad shoulders. She memorized every detail as if she were about to be graded at the academy. 

Heading towards the waves, he threw her a look that could only be classified as daring. And a part of her wanted to take him up on it. Be bold. Follow him into the blue water, which almost matched the color of his eyes. Run-on Human instinct instead of Vulcan logic. Jump into the oncoming waves. Do anything to relieve the heat that consumed her since seeing him. 

Instead, she turned and jogged back to the hotel. To her room. To the coldest shower of her life. 

And after shivering in the middle of the large bathroom of her suite, she vowed to correct this behavior. 

* * *

As she waited for the turbo-lift to arrive at her floor, she considered not meeting Gabriel. But she didn't want to be rude and stand him up. And she did want to see him again if only to ask questions about the Buran. Starfleet protocol. Professional observations. It had nothing to do with seeing _him_ necessarily.

“Y _ou can and will resist the emotions you have for this man. You can and will resist…_ ” Michael silently chanted this new mantra all the way down to the lobby. The struggle with her emotions would always be present. After all, feelings of attraction were a normal physical response for Humans and Vulcans alike. She had no issue tampering it down or indulging in it as appropriate. But to become so intense in his presence...Michael could not understand it. 

Since suppressing didn't seem to be an option, indulging in it was a whole other matter. It wouldn’t be against regulation since she did not report to him, but it could be deemed unprofessional. And she wasn't sure if he had a similar reaction to her. It could be a part of Gabriel's personality to be flirtatious. The simple fact was that she did not know if he had any real interest in her.

All she could do was attempt to channel it. Channel the emotion to something manageable. Give it a reason that was logical and not based on the physical. There was only one day left on Risa, it was manageable. 

When the door slid open and she stepped out into the lobby, Michael spotted him quickly. He sported a light beige linen suit and was lounging in one of the lobby chairs. Even relaxed he seemed to dominate the space. Anyone with a passing knowledge of Starfleet would know he belonged in a captain’s chair. She felt a touch of envy at that and continued her silent mantra. It was simply another emotion to control.

As she walked towards him, she ignored the way his linen suit fit him perfectly. She would forget the sun-kissed skin revealed by the undone top buttons of his shirt. She would disregard the fact that he had neatened up his beard since their morning run. Complete obliviousness to his reaction when he saw her, the way his whole face lit up. 

And she would pay no attention to how her heart leapt at the sight of his smile. 

* * *

While she had become used to many planets and cultures, nothing had prepared her for Risa. Everywhere they turned preliminary Lohlunat celebrations were springing to life. The very air seemed to sing with happiness. Everyone had a smile, laughter on their lips, and seemed to vibrate with anticipation.

To avoid separating, Michael and Gabriel stayed close as they navigated the streets. They attempted to talk on the way, sharing what the exhibits they were most interested in seeing. But the crowds became too much. 

The constant jostling, booming music, and loud revelers interrupted them too often. By the time they reached the museum steps, Michael felt off-center and she wasn’t the only one. Gabriel let out a deep sigh of relief when they stepped into the cool and quieter lobby. 

“Sometimes bigger crowds get to me. Nothing personal,” Gabriel said softly. She blinked up at him. 

“Yes, it’s the same for me. We’ll adjust on the way back I’m sure.” He gave her a short nod before stepping away and she missed his warmth immediately. 

After a short wait, they started a tour with a group of twelve. The Risian guide led them through each area. She gave an overview of the room and pointed out the most prominent pieces. Then allowed the group to meander about on their own before leading them to the next spot.

Michael walked through the first areas analyzing various paintings and sculptures. She asked the guide a few questions about one piece while Gabriel wandered off to another part of the room. 

He came back while she admired a tapestry that told one version of the sister moons myth. He bent down and squinted at the plaque beside it. Sighing, he stood and walked back to her side. "Alright, that wasn't helpful. Tell me about it."

Michael pulled her eyes from the tapestry. “I can get the guide if you’d like.”

"Don't be shy, I bet you can tell me when the damn thing was weaved.” Before Michael could protest, he continued. “I want you to tell me, not someone else. Go for it."

She took a deep breath then pointed to the left side of the tapestry which showed the three moons at different phases. “To my understanding, one group of early Risians believed the moons were three sisters. Each night the sisters searched for love and every night were unsuccessful. Eventually, they went to the much wiser sky goddess. She told them that to find a suitor, they must agree on what qualities a lover must possess.” 

“Of course, this was a trick.” Michael softened her voice to not interrupt the few people who passed by them. Gabriel leaned in close to hear the next part of the story. “The sky goddess knew they would never agree and would wander and brighten her nights forever. To be sure of it, she caused them to forget every time the suns rose taking their place.”

Gabriel pointed to the devastation happening to the small village on part of the tapestry. He bent his head closer to hers, his voice low. " And what happened there?” Michael felt his warm breath brush against her neck and she shivered. 

“Well, some of the Risians used this story to explain all the earthquakes and storms. That the three sisters were forever out of agreement. Each wanted a specific lover. A warrior, a romantic, a fortune-teller. Their turmoil and disagreements shook the planet. Their tears flooded entire villages.” 

She became acutely aware of how close they were without touching. Michael ached, wanting to take that one step and be enveloped by his warmth. Instead, she pointed to the section of the tapestry where the three moons were finally full. The people weaved into the tapestry were dancing, singing, making love in the glow.

“This part depicts why they celebrate Lohlunat. The three sisters realized that a suitor could be all at once or none at all. What mattered was the strength of their love. The sisters in their harmony became bright and full. And the sky goddess realized her mistake, but her spell continued with the dawn."

“And then Risians figured out how to stabilize the planet,” Gabriel said with a smirk. “No more worrying about earthquakes or floods. Just making love in the moonlight every night. Doesn’t sound too bad.” 

“No...it doesn’t.” Michael peered up at him and found his intense gaze settled on her and only her. Her eyes flickered down to his lips and she wanted to--. Before she could act on the impulse, she gave him a forced smile and pointed to the next room. “I think they’ve gone on without us.” 

* * *

The tour continued and they found the group near a display of tools and ancient weapons. As the guide explained, part of the Risian ideology discouraged violence. But these relics showed that no civilization was without it. 

Gabriel had mentioned on the walk there about his interest, but now she knew it wasn't a passing fascination. No, Gabriel took his time reading each plaque and even read a few out loud to her. Enthralled, he took his time looking over each one. 

“Now this one, I’d love to add to my collection.” He pointed to a ceremonial steel dagger that sat in its display case. "They'd advanced from bronze and jumped to steel in only a few hundred years. It's impressive."

“Yes that is--wait, your collection?” She said in surprise. “Why would you collect weapons?”

Gabriel gave a small shrug. “I’m interested in the craftsmanship. What we’re capable of.” He glanced at her. “The meaning we give to these objects goes beyond violence.”

Michael tilted her head in contemplation though seemed unconvinced. 

“For example, I’ve got a lirpa that’s about 400 years old. A weapon used during a mating challenge.” 

“Yes, a Kal-if-fee. That isn’t unusual though.”

“But the markings on it were carved by a Vulcan. Words of undying love…”

“You have something like that?” Michael exclaimed, grasping his arm. “That is highly unusual. Pon farr is mysterious but for a Vulcan to not only show but carve something so personal...it's fascinating.”

“And that’s why I kept it from being melted down. Because it meant more than a weapon.” Gabriel said softly. Realizing she still held on to him, she gently let go of his arm. He chuckled. “You’ll have to come visit me on the Buran sometime to see it in person. I need help translating it anyhow.”

Her stomach tied itself up in bows of excitement or nerves. Maybe both. A part of her wanted to plan the trip right then, but her mantra slipped back into the forefront. _“You can and will resist…”_ Yet, the words empty. They were as disingenuous as the short, dismissive nod she gave him in reply. 

* * *

Towards the end of the tour, they came to a room full of various horga'hn. While the tour guide continued speaking and the other members of the tour followed along, Gabriel and Michael once again stood side by side. The plaque estimated the statue to be over 5,000 years old, the wood carving gnarled from age. Its eyes deep compared to modern versions. It stared out over the room cavernous and almost hungry. 

Michael did not believe in the supernatural, in myths, or gods. All things in the universe had a logical explanation. But she couldn't explain why she felt compelled to share her innermost thoughts, standing in the horga’hn’s shadow. 

“The Risian belief of all that is yours is mine perplexes me. The willingness to give so much if not all of yourself for the happiness of others is fascinating.”

“Isn’t that what we do for Starfleet? Give up portions of our lives for the sake of the Federation?”

“I suppose I should consider that further. After all what makes giving yourself to a cause more important than a physical interaction? If it provides a similar sense of fulfillment, however brief.” Clasping her hands tight, she considered her next words carefully. “The woman last night at the bar was asking for her own...jamaharon. Why did she leave?”

Michael faced toward him waiting as he seemed lost in thought. Finally, he turned from the statue to her, his blue eyes piercing. They stood only a few inches apart now.

“I told her that she was going about it all wrong.” His voice became huskier, his accent noticeably deeper. “You can’t just walk up to a man asking for that without so much as an...introduction.” 

“That’s quite reasonable,” Michael whispered. She thought back to last night’s conversation and saw the possible implications. Her heart pounded erratically and she tried to correct her breathing. Never had she felt so far out of her depth. 

“And can I be entirely blunt with you, Michael?” Never taking his eyes off hers, Gabriel leaned forward. 

Michael wanted to tilt her head, meet him halfway and do what she had only done with few others before. Kiss him until they were both breathless and panting. Kiss him until there was no turning back from what burned between them. Kiss him and through it a conduit to release every emotion that had spiraled out of control since meeting him. 

She nodded and thought he might do exactly what she was afraid to put into action. Brush his lips against her own. Give her a chance to feel the softness she’d wondered about and denied. Gabriel’s blue eyes darkened and instead, he dipped his head further, the ghost of those lips brushing against the shell of her ear as he whispered. “I wasn’t interested in her or anyone else except--.”

"Thank you for joining us today!" The moment shattered into a thousand pieces of broken glass and Michael stepped back. Now the guide was encouraging everyone to the gift shop. Michael smoothed out her dress, out of a nervous habit she hadn’t done in years, while Gabriel glared over at the entrance until they left. 

As they walked back to the hotel, they were as quiet as ever as they moved through the packed streets. Michael wanted to ask him to finish what he was going to say. But she knew. 

Now she needed to decide her next move. 

* * *

Instead of parting ways, they entered the hotel’s turbo-lift together. 

"What's your floor?" Gabriel asked, the first words he'd spoken since they left the museum. Before they'd gotten to the hotel, she saw the tightness in his jaw, the renewed tension in his shoulders. Now he seemed more relaxed. Gabriel pressed level 7 for himself then looked at her expectantly. 

"Thank you, but I'm fine." With a few steps, she closed the distance between them and reached across to the panel. Her arm brushed against his chest. Even with the fabric between them, her skin burned. Every nerve ending alight at the possibility of further contact. 

The silence drifted back between them and Michael tried to screw up the courage to say what was on her mind. Just as she found the words, the turbo-lift announced his floor. 

"Well Michael--," Gabriel started to say as he stepped out into the hall, but Michael interrupted him by slamming her finger on the door open button.

“I'm unsure of how to say this but I don't want this to end yet," The words tumbled out in a rush. Gabriel's brows furrowed in confusion and she took a deep steadying breath. 

"My room is 9260. If you'd like to come by later. Not to…" The air between them felt heavier as she searched for the words. "...I'd like to... hear about your experience as a captain."

Gabriel stood frozen. His eyes searching hers for answers, for some sign of her intent. Never in her life had she felt so anxious for a response. Finally, he gave a slow nod. "Sometime after 1900 good for you?" 

Nodding, Michael released her hand from the control panel and smiled at him. He returned her smile and could have continued walking, head to his room. But they were locked in each others gaze, the intense blue of his eyes making her feel warm all over again until the door finally slid closed between them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, but this chapter is longer? I know, I know not much of a consolation, but it's something.
> 
> I'll update with Chapter 4 this Sunday, but leave me some comments of what you think so far!


	4. Chapter 4

The deep cherry red was too much. Michael stared at her reflection, five replicated tubes scattered across the counter. The lipstick could smear. If it got that far, it could stain the crisp white linen of Gabriel's shirt. And Michael couldn’t deny the sense of satisfaction that surfaced at the thought. The way the red would leave a trail down his neck, his chest, to whatever skin her lips reached. She imagined looking up and catching his intense gaze. The contrast of his vivid blue eyes and her work would be breathtaking. Evidence of her desire made real.

Closing her eyes, Michael took a deep breath to rein in her physical response. When had she ever been so imaginative? Turning her face to different angles, she contemplated replicating a few more shades. Instead, with a small sigh, Michael grabbed another napkin and wiped it off. Of course, it left a stain of red on her lips, but nothing that should transfer. 

There was no reason to overthink this. Overthinking helped no one. Picking up the tubes and countless napkins, she placed them in the compactor. It crunched the matter down while she attempted to do the same with her thoughts. Either Gabriel would arrive tonight and they would talk or they would have sex. Two straightforward and simple options. After all, wasn't that why most people came to Risa? Meaningless fornication and entertainment?

Michael regretted the insensitive thoughts immediately. That wasn't why she was here and she was sure that wasn't why Gabriel was on Risa. To be quite honest, it was the only thing she felt sure about. She was ambitious, an achiever. There was no problem too great that she couldn't wrangle and solve. But Gabriel wasn't a science experiment or a society to observe, he was a man with his own inner workings. Whatever came from their interaction would always hold value to her.

Michael walked through the bedroom to make sure everything was neat for the third time. It was also doubtful he was looking for long-term companionship, she certainly wasn't. A relationship was inadvisable for her current career path, especially with a captain. Not to mention that most long-distance relationships were set up to fail. Add a distance of up to 5,000 light-years at any given time and it felt implausible. 

What this was between them couldn’t warrant such a thing... _could it_? She pulled the corners of the bedding and ran a hand against the edge. It was as crisp as she'd left it this morning. No, there were two strong possibilities for tonight's end and she would relish in either. 

For good measure, she hid the horga'hn under the bed. If that did occur tonight, they did not need an audience. Michael looked at her reflection once more and smoothed out her silk black dress. Everything appeared to be in order. Now it was time to wait. 

* * *

"And here I thought my room was nice," Gabriel said when he’d stepped through the doorway at 1930 hours, looking around the space in wonder. She tapped the control panel by the door and the frosted glass wall faded to showcase the view. The glow of the three moons filled the space and Gabriel gave a low whistle. "How’d you get this, Burnham?"

"Captain Georgiou.” Michael rolled her eyes with a smile and took a seat on the settee. ”She may have thought it made up for being forced on vacation." 

Gabriel chuckled, “sounds like Philippa.” He turned from surveying the beach below to look at her. "It hasn't been too bad though?" He asked, his usual confident smirk in place, but she didn't miss the small flicker of doubt in his eyes. 

"It's been better than I could have hoped." Michael gave him a reassuring smile as he approached. "Also, the steam-pool was a plus."

Gabriel returned her smile and set the bottle of amber liquid he’d been carrying on the table in front of her with a soft clink. “I brought the real stuff with me as a precaution. Figured I’d share.” Walking into the kitchenette, he opened a few cabinets until he found two short glasses.

He strode back and poured each glass with about two fingers as he spoke. “Synthehol never tastes right, and I wasn’t entirely convinced Risa didn’t serve a glass of piss straight from the replicator.” Michael raised an eyebrow at that as he handed her the glass. 

“It’s an expression I’m sure you’re familiar with, Burnham.” He then took a seat on the long settee. There were a few feet between them, but he was close enough that she could catch the light scent of his cologne. A pleasant spice, a touch of musk. 

Gabriel stretched his long legs out in front of him. One arm resting over the back of the settee, his fingers could have skimmed her shoulder if he wanted. He was in the same outfit as earlier minus the suit jacket. But to Michael's dismay, another button was undone, the V at his neck deeper than before. She tore her eyes away and glanced down at the liquid amber in her glass. How would she be able to concentrate now? Raising her glass, she took a tentative sip. It was smooth and smokey with an unexpected honeyed sweetness. 

Michael blinked up at him. “The smoke flavor is a surprise.”

“It’s from the charred oak barrels.” He tilted his glass to her. "It gives it a depth of flavor a replicator can’t produce. Better than any synthehol, am I right?”

Michael hummed thoughtfully, “I haven’t had it so I can’t make a comparison.” She took a longer, deeper sip. “This is quite good though.”

Gabriel’s expression shifted to apprehension. “You’ll need to take it easy then, it’s strong even for me.”

“Oh, I've had alcohol, just not synthehol." She tried to hold back a smile at his obvious concern. "I also didn’t believe in the replicators ability to mimic Vulcan port.” 

Gabriel snorted in disbelief. “Vulcans? Drinking?”

“They don’t drink enough to be impaired, but it does bring a little green to their cheeks.” Michael fiddled with her glass. “Sarek was given a bottle almost every time by visiting dignitaries, but he hates it. So...I would enjoy the occasional glass.”

"Meaning you sneaked some?" teased Gabriel, his eyes bright with amusement and she gave him a coy smile in return. “As a connoisseur of Vulcan’s finest, how's it compare?”

“This is very pleasant, but I doubt you’d like port.” Gabriel tilted his head in question.

“It ages so poorly it tastes almost like vinegar.” He cringed with mock disgust and she chuckled. “I don’t think it would be sweet enough for you.”

“Hmm...you know me well," said Gabriel, a smirk sliding back into place. His voice grew husky as he peered at her over his glass. “I do enjoy something sweet.” His gaze lingered on her lips and her pulse jumped in response. This was it. She was sure of it, he was going to make the first move. 

So when the fingers of his left hand flexed where they now rested on his knee, her thoughts spiraled. She imagined it placed on her leg instead, skimming the hem of her dress, growing bold and inching up. He would caress the soft skin of her inner thigh, up and up, so slow to their goal. He'd tease her, watching her with those amused blue eyes until she begged. Michael shivered and tucked her legs closer to help relieve the sudden ache between them. 

But for some reason, he didn’t rest his hand on her knee. He didn't pull her into his arms and he didn't kiss her. Instead, he moved his heavy-lidded eyes from her and glanced over at the kitchenette. “Maybe it’ll be drinkable if I try it from a replicator.” Gabriel smiled and Michael smiled back though perplexed. Had she misread him? 

“Speaking of, I tried replicating a few fortune cookies to give you, but they didn’t come out right. Also, it’s missing the fortune.” 

“The fortune?” asked Michael, confused. 

“A slip of paper with a quote or some advice inside the cookie." He shrugged and added as an afterthought, "Haven’t bothered reading one in years."

“Why not?” 

Gabriel paused, his glass at his lips. “Reminds me of someone who's gone," he mumbled before tipping his head back and finishing it off. The entire room seemed to shift, a sudden set to his jaw, a return of the tension in his shoulders. His eyes trained on the moons outside. "Instead of being silly pieces of paper, they seemed too insightful. So I don’t.”

Her stomach twisted tight. The nerves Michael had been feeling transmuted into worry. Concern for him and also for the topic they’d stumbled upon. She could only surmise he was referring to a friend or lover. A heavy silence filled the room. 

Before she could formulate an appropriate response, he poured himself another two fingers then topped off her glass. "Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get a chance to enjoy the fortune,” he said with a shrug. “As they say, the past is prologue."

"And what to come in yours and my discharge." Michael quoted quietly. 

Gabriel looked at her in surprise then grinned. "Never cared much for poetry, but for Shakespeare, I can get past the iambic." Just as soon as it occurred, the melancholy surrounding him vanished. She wanted to ask him about it, but for now, she let the storm roll on. 

"I enjoy his work though I wish I had happened upon it organically,” replied Michael with a slight sigh. “My brother went through a phase where he would only speak in quotes. So I learned the entirety of Shakespeare’s work to finish his lines out of spite."

"How very un-Vulcan of you." 

"In my defense, I was still getting used to Vulcan and his indifference was...difficult."

Michael took a bigger sip from her glass than intended. She hadn't talked about Spock in years. Not even with Philippa. While it seemed fair to reveal something personal after he had done so, it still puzzled her. They had only met yesterday and yet the comfort she felt in his presence grew with each passing second. She could only surmise that it was the same for him. Michael doubted he would have been so willing to convey his emotions otherwise. Before Michael could lose her nerve, she decided to broach the subject that had been on her mind. 

“Thank you for meeting with me tonight,” Michael set her glass on the table. “And thank you for bringing refreshments. It was very thoughtful.” She turned to face him, curling her legs up onto the seat. His eyes flickered over them before returning to meet her gaze as she continued. “However I have asked you here under somewhat false pretenses.”

“Is that so?” asked Gabriel, his voice deep and low. His blue eyes darkened as they had earlier in the museum and her body ignited. She felt herself go slick with want. "And what pretense would that be, Michael?"

“I would like to hear about your time as captain and your experience as a Starfleet officer, but...” Michael reached out and placed her hand over his. “I leave the day after tomorrow and I. Well, I..." The words refused to come out how she planned. The intensity of his gaze reflected the undeniable effect she had on him. Dilated pupils, increased breathing. She wasn't wrong, he wanted her. "Our time may be better served with other activities," she finished in a whisper.

Then Michael leaned forward and kissed him. The tentative brush of her lips against his was everything she'd hoped. Sweet and slow and sensuous. 

Gabriel kissed her back but his hands stayed by his side. He was stiff, almost wound too tight. Unsure, she pulled back, her eyes searching his. What gazed back at her was a desire so raw and open all for her. She cupped his face, and he leaned into it with a gentle exhale as if he’d been holding his breath. Michael placed feather-light kisses across his cheeks. Then down his jaw, his beard surprisingly soft. He groaned low in his throat as she moved down his neck. Slowly she made her way back to his mouth and nipped playfully on his bottom lip. 

That tiny action was all it took. And like a man starving, he reached for her with desperation. His arms encircled her waist pulling her onto his lap. Any hesitation evaporating as his fingers splayed across her hips to grip as much of her as possible. Michael could feel every inch of him and they both moaned low and soft when he finally deepened their kiss. The intensity and longing matched her own. Fueling it. 

The taste of him made her gasp. Bourbon and honeyed sweetness and something so distinctly him. This was intoxication. This was mania in its finest form. An alarm could go off, a yell for red alert, the moons falling from the sky--and Michael wouldn’t move an inch except to pull him closer. All her thoughts would continue their single pursuit: _more, more, more_.

Her fingers found their way into his hair, ruffling it and he groaned loudly into her mouth. Through the haze, Michael noted to explore that reaction more later. For now, she was on a mission. Down the nape of his neck to his chest, she popped open the remaining buttons of his linen shirt. Sighing with content, she dragged her hands over the hard muscle revealed. He mirrored the movement, his hands sliding up her sides. When one of his hands grazed over her breast, they both groaned at the contact. Even through her silk dress, everywhere he touched was aflame and Michael had never been so wet. She could feel it, her undergarments practically soaked. Never had her body responded so well to another.

But instead of touching her, kissing her, pulling off her dress and carrying her to the bed-- the hands moving down her waist went still. And as if it was the hardest thing he ever had to do, Gabriel groaned and pulled back.

“Michael,” he whispered against her lips. It took her a moment to process her own name, her heartbeat thudding loud in her ears. "Michael, what are we doing?" 

Michael looked at him in surprise. "I believe it’s obvious.” 

A mixture of hurt and disbelief flashed across his face. “We've been drinking," he said gruffly. Before Michael could even question it, he lifted her up and out of his lap. "I should go.” 

He stood, running a hand over his beard. His shirt was almost completely unbuttoned, hair disheveled. The large outline of his arousal evident in his linen trousers. He looked deliciously wrecked and Michael felt another surge of desire. Shaking her head, she brought her focus back to what he was saying. 

“What? Why won't you stay?” The questions come out unsteady even to her own ears. 

Gabriel let out a frustrated sigh. “Because I didn’t know what to expect tonight. I’d hoped, but…one minute you look at me like you want me then in the next breath you’re all cool indifference." His voice was gruff and thick with his accent. “So let me ask my own question. Why do you want me to stay, Michael?"

The words hung in the air, both of them waiting for her reply to surface. She clasped her hands in her lap, tight enough to leave marks. An old habit to stay grounded now a way to keep from reaching for him. "I...I want you to stay for more reasons than I can possibly express."

“I know it isn’t easy for you being from Vulcan. I get that, I do.” Gabriel said as he started to button up his shirt. “But this isn’t some vacation fling for me. I don't know what the hell this is but it ain’t straightforward lust. It's not something you start then walk away from." He finally looked at her again, the sadness in his eyes washing over her. "I know I can’t.”

"But...we've only known each other for a day and a half," Michael repeats what she’d told herself countless times that afternoon verbatim. "It is highly illogical to have such an emotional attachment.”

"Fuck logic,” he growled. He closed his eyes to hold back his frustration. His voice was softer as he continued. "Doesn't change what's there. And I don't want there to be any doubts on either end. But you've got them. I can tell." 

“I agree that there is more...connection here than I would have anticipated." Michael finally relaxed and reached for his hand. She gently pulled him back towards her. "But please stay. I enjoy my time with you, let's not cut it short."

"Michael...we can't. Especially after almost drinking half the bottle."

“I respect that and I’ll need to think things over before we can proceed anyways." Michael gave his hand a small squeeze and after a moment he sat back down beside her. "There is the festival tomorrow, but we'll have all day and night to come to some resolution?" 

After a moment of contemplation, he nodded his agreement. The rough pad of his thumb rubbed slow circles over the back of her hand. 

Michael felt warmth and hope and something indescribable bloom in her chest as she looked up at him. "So, tell me how you became a captain."

* * *

That night Michael laughed harder than she ever had in her whole life. For awhile, she tried to keep her composure, but Gabriel was a natural-born storyteller. His bright blue eyes shone with mischief as he told some of his most ridiculous tales. Spanning his days at the academy and an ensign. Some stories of the “idiotic”, but well-intentioned actions of his crew on the Buran. She shared her own stories of the Vulcan academy and the Shenzou, but once he figured out what made her laugh, it became his new mission to have her clutching her sides.

As they continued to make their way through the bottle though, the night took on a more somber tone as they became less sober. 

"I stepped down on this planet and felt a hell of a lot lighter," said Gabriel out of the blue. 

"Considering the planet is .91 gravity of...," Michael drifted off seeing the amused look on his face. He gently kissed her before resting his head against the back of the settee. Michael’s face went hot at the casual physicality between them now. Though new, it was so natural.

"I meant emotionally. It's hard in the captain's chair. Not being on red alert has become the new normal, but you end up on edge no matter what."

"That doesn't seem like a healthy response."

"It isn't,” sighed Gabriel and shrugged. "Kat...Admiral Cornwell. She's a good friend of mine and _strongly_ recommended a vacation."

"Captain Georgiou seems to have something in common with the Admiral," muttered Michael. Her head felt heavy and she rested it against his shoulder.

“They talk so I wouldn’t be surprised if they shared strategies,” Gabriel said chuckling. He gently squeezed her hand, his tone serious again. “As captain, you’re the only one who can make the final call and the hard choices. Sometimes your crew won’t like it. Sometimes their opinions will help, but at the end of the day it’s on you.”

“I’m confident that I will excel in the chair,” Michael said firmly before breaking out into a yawn. Gabriel grinned and she rolled her eyes. “On my current trajectory, I may even surpass you to admiral.” 

“I’ve got no doubt about that. Just remember that sometimes even with 80% good intel, the support of your crew, everything feeling right on the board, the right decision can still cost someone their life.” Gabriel said quietly. “I learned that too late.”

“But when everything else seems lost,” Michael began, raising her glass. “The right call at the right time can save lives.” 

Gabriel clinked his glass against hers. “Damn right.” 

* * *

At some point in the night, they fell asleep. Their legs tangled up, his arms wrapped around her. The lights in the room had shut off automatically, but it’s the movement of the moons that pulled Michael from sleep. 

She studied him from her spot lying against his shoulder. The moonlight and shadows danced across his face that was so relaxed in slumber. Michael smiled when she noticed the ghost of her lipstick had left its mark. The faint smudge of red over his skin pleased her. As her eyelids grew heavier and heavier, she was finally lulled back to sleep by the steady rhythm of his heart. 

Between then and the rising of the suns, Michael woke with a start. She wasn’t confused about where she was or who she was with. No, what startled and confused her was waking up alone.


	5. Chapter 5

Michael sat up on the settee and groaned, clutching her head. Even with the half opacity up, the suns light through the frosted wall made Michael’s eyes water. Her head pounded like fifty Klingon war drums beating out of rhythm. She kicked off a thin blanket and squinted around the room. Gabriel must have changed the opacity settings because she hadn’t done so last night.

Still, it wasn't enough. Stumbling toward the control panel, she banged her hand against it. The glass wall became completely opaque and now the room was blissfully dim.

With a relieved sigh, Michael glanced around the large room to make sure she hadn't missed him. She even risked squinting out on the balcony, which created a fresh spike of pain. After knocking on the bathroom door and peeking in, it was clear that Gabriel had slipped out.

But why had he? They were going to to find some resolution, wasn’t that the plan? Taking a deep breath, Michael pushed down the rising dismay. As with all things, there was a reasonable, logical explanation for his departure.

With a bit more care, she tapped in an order with the replicator for two glasses of water with ginger. Vulcan port had never left her feeling as if she had sustained a severe head injury before. A fine price to pay for something so sweet. Her stomach grumbled at the thought of alcohol and Michael also requested some saltine crackers. Much to her chagrin, Gabriel had been right, she should have taken it easy. Never again would she drink to such excess.

While sipping the water and nibbling on a cracker, she finally noticed the pad of paper resting on the table. It sat by the empty bottle of bourbon, a hypospray right on top of it. How had she missed that? Her brain answered with a renewed pounding against her skull as she walked back to the sitting area

The paper had the hotel branding across the top, so he must have found it in a drawer somewhere. Still, Michael was surprise, she hadn’t seen a handwritten note in years.

> _Michael,_
> 
> _Sorry to leave, I wanted to let you sleep. Polishing off that bottle means I won't be up for our morning run, but I doubt you will be either. The hypospray should help._
> 
> _My room is 7184. I’ll have food brought up for us if you want to join me. If not, let me know when you’re ready to head out. I wouldn't dare go to this festival without my trusted xenoanthropologist._
> 
> _Yours,_
> 
> _Gabriel_

She reviewed the hypospray formula before popping off the cap and pressing the injector into her neck. The headache and uncomfortable gurgling in her stomach vanished within seconds. As her body started to feel normal again, she picked up the note to reread it. 

Michael ran a finger over the letters. Traced the loops in their names written in federation standard. She could feel the indents from his heavy penmanship. The use of ‘my’ and signing the letter off with ‘yours’ stood out. Now it was her heart’s turn to pound.

Neatly, she folded the letter and walked over to her duffel bag. With a bit of digging, she found her copy of Alice in Wonderland. The embossed details of the cover were slightly worn, but still in good condition. Alice stood in her blue dress, looking with wonder and awe at the white rabbit diving into the rabbit hole. His gold pocket watch glinting behind him, flapping along with his waistcoat tails.

Michael opened up to one of her favorite pages with ease, the gilded edges so known to her. Part of the left page was an elaborate illustration of the Caterpillar and Alice. Rings of smoke surrounded them, dancing from his lips and his hookah pipe. A part of their conversation was at the top of the right page. One that Michael never truly understood. How could a person change in a short period of time? It made no rational sense. But now the words seemed poignant with the clarity they offered.

“At least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then,” Michael recited to herself, her eyes not really seeing the words she knew so well. Tucking Gabriel’s note between the pages she shut it with a gentle reverence and a smile.

She smiled remembering their bourbon-soaked kisses and the desire in Gabriel’s eyes. The warmth of his body against hers and how natural it felt in his arms. And for once she didn't feel the need to school her features. While she might compartmentalize to follow her logical principles...this was a day for a small change. A shift to something that would have been impossible only a few days ago, but now felt natural. A smile for someone who would smile back with just as much joy and openness in his blue eyes.

Tomorrow would be a day back to the same routine. Back to being a commander. Back to being number one and arguing with Saru. To chess games with Philippa and proving herself ready for the captain's chair. Back to being a Vulcan and a creature of pure logic. But she would give herself today. She would let herself fall down the rabbit hole.

* * *

Yet for all her self-talk and determination, it seemed to fade the moment she rang Gabriel’s door. Not because she didn't want to express herself, make an attempt to be open. Because she knew once she did, they could fall straight into his bed.

But when the door slid open, her heart skipped a beat at how pleased he was to see her. His blue eyes bright, a smile on his lips and she knew right then that hurting this man was not an option. Though it might be unintentional pain, what if he expected too much? Wanted more than she was emotionally capable of?

She drowned out the questions as he stepped aside to let her in. “I wasn’t entirely sure I’d see you.”

“It’ll take more than your bourbon to keep me down the entire day,” said Michael with a small smile. His room was a mirror of her own though about half the size. There was a door leading out to the balcony, but the wall wasn’t full glass like hers. Instead of the bedroom to the left, that’s where his smaller kitchenette was, absent a replicator. She looked to the right and stared at his bed for a beat too long.

“The hypospray helped, huh?” He gave her a smug look and Michael rolled her eyes.

"Yes, it did." Michael paused then said, "thank you for being thoughtful of my possible condition."

"Anytime. For the record, I'd have waited till you woke up, but I had something to do."

Michael tilted her head in question, but instead of answering, Gabriel strode over to the balcony door and opened it. "After you."

His balcony was not designed for a personal steam-pool. It would have been set up for lounging, but those chairs were stacked in a far corner. Instead, a two chair table with a white table cloth waited for them. A small hum from a preserver shield protected the full assortment of platters. All various Human and Vulcan breakfast foods.

She turned towards him in shock. "You didn't need to do this."

"I wanted to," said Gabriel as he pulled out a seat for her. "Nothing beats a hangover better than grease and a full stack of hotcakes."

"Thank you." Michael placed her PADD on the table and before taking her seat, she leaned forward and kissed him. It was chaste and soft. A quick physical display of her thanks. But the sense of familiarity and domesticity seemed to affect them both. 

His eyes flickered down to her mouth and the dark berry lipstick she'd swiped on. After a moment, he returned the kiss with a tender one of his own. It wasn't the same type of kiss they'd shared last night. No, this was all sweetness and exploration as if they had all the time in the world. Eventually, slowly he pulled back with a smile and Michael’s heart continued to race as he took his seat. With a click he released the preserver shield.

Michael looked over the table. Most of the Human foods she recognized, but others only seemed familiar. But as soon as she spotted the crusty sweet Vulcan bread she could barely suppress her joy.

"Saffir is an indulgence I haven't had it in a long time." Dragging the plate closer, she cut off a sizable piece for herself and then one for him. "I'm sure you'll like it." Gabriel chuckled when she took a large bite.

They sat out on that warm balcony for a few hours, eating and talking about anything and everything except. Discussing their homes in greater detail, the merits of exploring deep space, even tactical strategy. Of course, that led to a somewhat heated debate. Michael approached it with fine logic, her veneer calm. But Gabriel defended his points with passion. With anyone else, she would have found it irrational, unbecoming to approach a problem in such a way. Yet, he stated his position with an assured dignity that was admirable. A part of her wished she could see how he would handle a serious debate or even a negotiation.

With that thought, Michael considered approaching her expression of feelings as a negotiation. Gabriel wanted something as did she, it was an art to find out exactly what. To settle on certain terms then proceed as agreed. It was simple. The methods and skills cultivated from Sarek would be useful. 

But this wasn't a negotiation. This was...well whatever it was, it wasn't a conversation between two ambassadors with agendas. This was something between a man and a woman. But why couldn't she shake the need to learn more of his expectations first before revealing her own? It frustrated her that in the light of day, she couldn't express her innermost thoughts. She had no difficulties physically, but with words, it felt near impossible.

Michael placed her fork and knife down across the plate. She leaned back in her chair and stretched. "Thank you again, Gabriel. This was delicious."

"My pleasure." Gabriel began to say something else but settled for a new topic. She could tell from the way his brows furrowed and the tap of his fingers against his knee. “So what’s the plan for today, Burnham?”

After talking for hours, she then realized he wouldn't broach the subject from last night either. Gabriel was clear enough that he felt something for her, but was unsure of her intentions. Yes, he approached her, remained in her orbit, but never made the first move. The physical and emotional aspects between them were in her control. It was an encouraging revelation. 

Reaching for her PADD, she tapped a few times bringing up the holographic display. "I've mapped a route to Suraya Bay, which should be a less commercialized celebration. Though it will be a bit of a hike, we'll avoid the crowds." He smiled warmly then placed his napkin onto his plate and stood.

He gestured towards his white button-down and grey slacks. "Give me a bit to change."

"I will need to as well. We should meet in the lobby in 30 minutes so we get there before dusk. You should also bring a pair of swim shorts if you’re self-conscious." He raised an eyebrow at that but she simply smiled and headed for the door. 

* * *

As they approached the bay, it was quiet compared to the city they’d left behind. Michael could still hear the faint sizzle and pop of fireworks in the distance. The pockets of people on the beach were talking and laughing, but nothing raucous. A good number of them were bobbing in the water which was as tranquil as Michael had ever seen it. On this single night, the entire ocean became as placid as a lake with only the occasional wave.

Gabriel also peered down at the beach below and then it clicked, his head whipping back to look at Michael.

“A warning might have been nice,” he grumbled and she stifled a laugh. His eyes widened again when she pulled off her shirt leaving behind her sports bra.

"I recommended the swim shorts for a reason," said Michael as she neatly folded her shirt.

"I'm surprised you're comfortable with this." His gaze took in every inch of revealed skin and she grew hot under his attention. Instead of trying to ignore it, Michael reached for that feeling. Instead of nerves, she spun it into confidence. After all, her physical desires seemed much easier to identify and act on.

She shrugged. "Going without clothes is still in practice during certain Risian celebrations. I have also found it illogical to be ashamed of the physical form if it's accepted by a culture." Michael then added with a mischievous tone to her voice. "Though I'm surprised, you didn't have a problem taking off your shirt yesterday."

Gabriel grinned. "Noticed that, did you?"

"Who couldn't," a smile played at her lips as she started to untie her drawstring shorts.

"Well if I take my clothes off, I can't stop you from noticing...other things."

"Like what?" She kept her tone nonchalant then allowed her drawstring shorts to fall. Gabriel’s eyes followed them down her legs until they pooled at her ankles. Michael smoothly stepped out of them and towards him. “I’ll keep my underclothes on if that will make it...easier,” she whispered.

“You're going to be the death of me, I know it.” He let out a long sigh, running a hand over his beard. "You do you. But I’m keeping the shorts on." He took off his shirt and threw it on top of her pile of clothing. As he took off his shoes, placing them by her knapsack, her eyes traveled down his form. 

She studied the muscles of his chest, her eyes dipping lower to the prominent outline of his desire in the aforementioned shorts. Her fingers stilled on the hem of her sports bra as she watched him. When her eyes finally made their way back up, she found him staring at her intently, expectantly. A heady look of want in his eyes, the slight glint of a dare. 

Just as she started to pull it up the crowd began to cheer from the beach. Looking back from their point on the dune, she could see that the entertainment was about to start. 

"We need to go now or we'll miss the beginning," said Michael turning to head down the sandy hill, ignoring Gabriel's smirk. As the drums sped up, so did their descent to the shore.

* * *

Everything on Risa was perfect and as the suns began to set, this was no different. They swam out a bit away from everyone else, but still in view of an old dock. It had been transformed and elevated higher as a stage, two drones waiting high up to project the performance for those further away. Michael ran a hand through her wet hair, trying to slick back the curls now splayed to her forehead. 

The drums faded and a hush fell over the audience. Two women and one man took to the stage. They were draped in see-through, silver gauze. It floated behind them as they moved gracefully in perfect unison. Three others in gold stood to the side watching with exaggerated faces of longing. Some holding out their hands to grasp at the empty air as the three in silver leaped and spun past them. Soon it was their turn to move across the stage. 

"This is different than what we saw at the museum," Gabriel said, his gaze still trained on the dancers.

"As with most oral traditions, there are variations of a story. The Risians are no different," replied Michael. 

“Why three suns instead of two?” He turned and squinted at the horizon and the two setting suns in the distance then back at the stage. Michael swam a little closer to him then pointed upwards to a distant star that still shone brightly through the fading daylight.

“The Risians who developed this version saw two suns and a bright distant star. So this became the one night when the far away ‘sun’ could escape the sky and into the arms of the smaller moon."

On the stage, the moons and the suns finally collided into a powerful embrace. The crowds on the beach and in the water cheered, some imitating the dancers. A few were rolling in the sand and doing other activities that made Michael blush and turn away. Nakedness was one thing, public displays of affection to that extent were another. She kept her eyes concentrated on the stage.

“So instead of remaining alone, they all find someone,” said Gabriel softly beside her. The moons and the suns now danced along the stage in a slow then frenzied dance. The synchronicity in their movements, even in their expressions was laudable. 

"They do, but not forever. The sky finds a way to part them." Michael replied. 

"That's too bad," the hint of sadness in his voice caught her attention. She glanced up at him only to find his blue eyes concentrated on her instead of the dancers. Her breath caught in her chest. Did he think that was somehow her answer?

“That wasn't an answer to your query from last night." The words sprang from her mouth, desperate to correct this. Desperate to change the crestfallen look that settled across his face. She turned to face him in the water struggling to navigate this. 

"I have searched all day to find the right words to say. There is something I feel for you but it is…indescribable. It's overwhelming. Which may not be what you were hoping for. ” 

Gabriel was quiet beside her in the water. The suns on stage were trying to catch up to the moons as they continued moving across the stage. Finally, he spoke, his voice low. “I’ve felt it before. Intoxicating is how I would describe it.”

A pit grew in her stomach. He must be referring to what they touched upon last night, the person he’d lost. She hesitated then forced the question from her lips. “And what happened to them?”

"I should tell you. I…" his words drifted off as Gabriel looked away back at the stage. The melancholy from the night before returned. All the same physical signs. He was so tense, she could practically hear him grind his teeth. She rested her hand on his shoulder, hoping it provided some small comfort.

An eternity seemed to stretch between them then snap back to the present as he found the words.

“Tarsus IV...she was one of the purged,” Gabriel said slowly, his voice strained. Michael could hardly contain her gasp. 

Philippa had given her some accounts of Tarsus IV. The event a stain on the history of the 23rd century. As a first officer, Philippa's ship had been one of the first to arrive ahead of schedule for the relief mission. Instead of finding a starving populace of 8,000, half the population had been murdered. Kodos, the self-appointed governor, had handpicked each person based on their "usefulness", the others killed for a broadcast. The Starfleet members from the outpost there had tried everything to capture Kodos, but he was still on the loose nine years later. 

Michael wracked her memory and conversations with her captain. “You were the Lt. Commander stationed at the outpost? Philippa had mentioned you once, but I didn't remember.”

"I don't like talking about it, but I want to be open with you." His blue eyes finally found hers again. His hand came to rest on top of hers still on his shoulder. The action seemed to ground him. "I meant what I said yesterday. The past is the past. I’ve had other relationships since, but I was too caught up in my own shit to give it a chance, focused on my career. I never expected to meet you. To feel this way ever again.”

His thumb made small circles over the back of her hand as he continued, his accent heavier now. “And if there is anything I’ve learned, the universe can only offer so many chances. I’m too damn pigheaded not to try and make the most of it.”

“Sometimes the universe allows for the making of unexpected memories,” said Michael quietly. He looked at her perplexed. “It’s something Philippa said when I first arrived on the Shenzhou. While unexpected, this thing between us is far from unwelcome.”

“I don’t want to _just_ make memories, Michael. I want to give this a real shot.”

“If it will require a transfer, I can't. I won't," said Michael. It was a thought that had concerned her since he expressed what he was looking for yesterday. If that was his expectation than they would unfortunately not be able to proceed. She breathed a sigh of relief with his next words.

"If the request came across my desk I would deny it without hesitation. You want your own command, anything else is unacceptable.”

"And it will be satisfactory if we only see each other for a few days each year? What are your expectations?"

"Holograms are getting better and better." He threw back his head with a laugh as she glared at him. After a moment he said low, "Even with the distance, we’ll deal with it. And if you want something else, someone else then I won't hold you back. But I don't want to part ways tomorrow morning and never hear from you again."

The ocean decided at that moment to make small waves and drew them closer, the sand shifting beneath them. He took the opportunity to lean over and place a kiss just below her ear, which made her shiver. "I want to talk with you again." He whispered then kissed a path down her neck. "Kiss you again. Make you laugh again."

Michael swallowed a moan as he trailed back up, his hands tracing a path down to the small of her back. She felt his lips against her ear. “Finally make love to you.” His voice now rough with want. “Again and again and as many times as you’ll have me. I've got no expectations. Only hope. Are you willing to try and see?"

"Yes." The single word came out in a soft exhale. Michael leaned back, looking into his eyes and nodded, repeating firmly, "yes...I am."

Michael felt like she was floating. Not because of the gravity of Risa, not because of the ocean around them. No, she felt like floating because of him. So it only made sense to wrap her arms around him to hold on. 

When she was young before Vulcan, she had dreamed of romance as many young children do. Innocent chaste kisses and confessions in the classroom. When she was brought to Sarek and Amanda, the possibility seemed null. There had been physical interactions with Vulcans, but there had never been passion. No desire. Though her foster parents had a unique love between them, Michael knew there was no hope for love as a Vulcan. The explosion of the Learning Center taught her that early on.

But as a Human woman...a hope for dreams long dead seemed to come alive in his arms. Gabriel was right the night before. She wasn’t sure what this was and to call it love would be foolish and naive. But it was something. Something...tangible.

She looked into his eyes and saw the same hope that she was sure were in her own. Her hands skimmed up and pulled him down to kiss her. Instead of the sweet kisses they shared that early afternoon, this began with an unexpected intensity. They both moaned as they deepened the kiss.

The waves continued to push them closer together. Michael could feel the hard length of him through his swim shorts. It pressed against her and she gave a soft, frustrated sigh. Never had she regretted not taking off her clothes before. 

“Is this what you thought I’d notice earlier?” she whispered against his lips. 

“You know damn well,” said Gabriel, taking hold of her hips and bringing her fully against him. She wrapped her arms around his neck to steady herself before continuing to kiss him. A gentle rocking of the waves heightened the sensations. Inspired, she moved her hips against his in a similar rhythm. The hard thickness of him made her ache and she wanted him between her legs so badly she could have begged. His grip on her hips grew tighter and he groaned into their kiss. Just as she was about to wrap her legs around his waist, a loud noise boomed above them. 

They looked up in alarm. The crowds cheered loud at the cascade of fireworks, all shimmering brightness overhead. They'd missed the end of the performance so wrapped up in one another. In the distance, lights on some of the restaurant boats flashed on to show they were open for business. Now their tiny corner of the wide blue ocean was full of people swimming towards the food awaiting them.

"Now that was getting good," Gabriel sighed, resting his forehead against hers before taking a step back. "As tempting as this is, we're not doing this in the ocean. Do you want to--." He looked around them and the festival.

“No, I don’t want to stay.” Michael cut off his question. It was considerate of him to think of her initial plans but they were unimportant now. “I would like to continue this with you _in private_.” She eyed a few of the swimmers who were getting too close to them now.

As they swam back to the shore at a much faster pace than they’d entered, the full moons rose higher above them. And for Michael, the world had never seemed so bright, so full of promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) If you haven't read Drastic Measures, please do! It gives a lot of insight into prime universe Gabriel and Philippa. I decided with this fic that prime Gabriel isn't the type to have meaningless sex if it's going to mean something to him. He's gone through enough in his life that adding more heartbreak would probably make Kat send him on another vacation.
> 
> 2) I promise next chapter will earn that explicit rating! I hope all the extra emotional exchanges between them is well worth it though. 
> 
> 3) Please let me know if you have any feedback or comments. Thanks again for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

Michael had never felt so much emotion all at once. A strange mixture of longing, anticipation, nervousness. Her body thrummed with a need to act with each powerful surge of emotion. Under different circumstances, Michael would go for a run. Do something to keep her body active while her mind searched for the root cause and rip it out. Instead, she allowed each bubble of emotion free rein. Gabriel was right; this was intoxication. She glanced down at their clasped hands and smiled.

Making their way up the hill, they threw their clothes back on and donned their sneakers. They moved with such immediacy that their trek back to the hotel was made in record time. In the lobby, people milled about, laughing with cocktails in hand. Pushing past them, they stood anxiously by the turbo-lift next to a few guests also waiting for one to arrive.

Once the turbo-lift door swooshed open, passengers shuffled out right in front of the group waiting. As soon as it was clear, Gabriel grasped Michael's hand and rushed them around past the moseying group. Before anyone else could get on, he slammed the close button on the control panel with a grin.

Some of the people waiting yelled through the door. But the Betazoid woman on the other side gave a loud whoop of encouragement which made Michael laugh. Such behavior was rude and uncalled for but seemed warranted as her laughter morphed to a moan. She couldn’t pretend to care about etiquette, not with this man beside her.

In the relative privacy of the turbo-lift, Gabriel brought her into his arms and his hands took their fill. Running all over her. Gripping her hips, cupping her breasts, squeezing her ass. Any spot that made her grind against him, he paid special attention to. All the while he kissed her with a ferocity that she matched with every atom of her being.

"Wait, wait select my floor please," said Michael in a breathy rush. Gabriel's eyes clouded with confusion, but he reached out and tapped the control panel. Then his hand returned to its new mission caressing her right breast. Michael shivered as his thumb circled the peaked nipple he found through the padding of her bra. 

"What's wrong with my room?" He whispered as he nipped and kissed down her neck. When the collar of her shirt and the strap of her sports bra got in the way of his exploration, his other hand pulled them aside to kiss the revealed skin. 

"N-nothing," she gasped out. “I need to take a shower.”

Michael could feel the smirk running across his lips still pressed against her skin. "A bit salty but...," he trailed off, punctuating the words with a lick to a sensitive spot he’d discovered earlier. Her head fell to the side to give him further access to her neck.

"You can shower in—," he began but Michael’s fingers still in his hair lightly tugged his head up to look at her. His heavy-lidded blue eyes found hers and a groan escaped him.

She smiled. "I'll be down to your room in ten minutes."

"Not a minute longer," he grumbled as the turbo-lift dinged. "We've got what, nine hours before you leave?" Gabriel held out his arm to keep the door from closing.

"I promise. Ten minutes." She gave him one last firm kiss before gently pushing him toward the door. “Now let me get upstairs.” 

* * *

The ride up to her floor was a form of purgatory. Only two floors up yet the ride seemed endless. The wait excruciating and she questioned the "turbo" in turbo-lift. Finally, the door slid open and as calmly as she could, Michael ran to her room. Once inside, she left a trail of clothes scattered behind her.

Under the spray of hot water, Michael thought through everything she wanted to say to him. A part of her wished she had time to practice. Negotiations and diplomacy were one thing. Giving a speech about feelings? There was no elective course for that at the Vulcan academy.

Quickly drying off, she grabbed her bottle of lotion and rubbed a few dollops of it into her skin. At first, she considered skipping it but then imagined how his hands would feel gliding over her even softer skin. Michael sped up moisturizing her legs, she needed to get to his room.

Then she caught a glance of herself in the mirror and did a double-take. Everything about her was the same except for two things. Of course, her straightened hair had sprung back into tight curls. Michael could only hope the saltwater from the beach didn’t create too much havoc. But it was the second change that caught her surprise: the silly grin plastered across her face.

She attempted to lower her lips into a neutral expression, but couldn’t hold it back. The giddiness in her stomach, the flutter of her heart were internal symptoms. Her expression of uncontrollable joy simply the external.

It was odd how a few days trickled down to these last few hours could change so much. Shaking her head, she placed the bottle back on the counter and headed straight to the bedroom. Finding a simple wrap dress, Michael tied it tight and decided to forgo underclothes. The cool silk against her bare skin made her blush. After all, why waste time with items that would be off in a few minutes? It was only logical. 

Michael stepped over some of her discarded clothing to slip into a pair of sandals near the bed. For a moment, she stood there contemplating if she should or not. To express herself, she did not need a prop to do it. But the thought and the ticking clock won out and she dropped down reaching under the bed. After a few seconds of hasty searching, her fingers found the smooth wooden base of the horga'hn.

* * *

Before she could even ring the bell, Gabriel’s door slid open. He stood there in a tied towel, still dripping wet from his own shower. Her eyes slid down taking in the hard muscle of his chest glistening in the hall light and her grip tightened around the horga'hn. A single bead of water made a path down his torso and suddenly she felt parched.

For a few heartbeats, they stood there, taking each other in. But the moment her eyes met his again, the heady desire she found there set her alight. In a single breath, she’d closed the distance between them and kissed him hard.

Gabriel’s large hands dragged her over the threshold. The door closed but instead of bringing her further into the room, he pressed her against it. The cool metal at her back and the dual sensation of his warm, hard body made her gasp. Made her shiver with desire. In one smooth motion, he hoisted her up and she wrapped her legs around his hips with ease.

To maintain his grip, Gabriel reached under the slippery silk dress to grasp her ass. What he found there made him give a low whistle.

"And here I thought you were Miss prim and proper," he teased, his hands kneading the soft, bare flesh.

In response, she tightened her legs around him. Bringing his covered hardness against her hot and dripping core. That teasing look in his eyes darkened as she ground herself against him slow. His hands gripped her tight and he let out a soft exhale. A mix of wonder and lust passing over his face.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” Gabriel groaned out, repeating his words from earlier then captured her lips again. The kiss was searing. It burned into her, consumed her. She grew impossibly wet and all she wanted was to get even closer, feel all of him. Her right hand ran through his wet hair, down his chest and waist to the knot in his towel. She tugged at it trying to get it undone. In her efforts, Michael was barely holding the statue in her left which tapped against his back.

"What the hell is digging into my back?” He blinked at her in confusion then looked over his shoulder. With a sigh, Michael brought her feet back to the ground and squeezed past him to walk further into the room. 

"It is an horga'hn," said Michael, delaying what she'd been planning to say, trying to catch her breath.

"Mhmm, I can see that. Not seeing why you're carrying it around though." He gestured between them and the tented front of the towel, which was still unfortunately secured around his waist.

Michael bit back a smile. "Agreed, we don't need to channel sexual energy."

Gabriel raised his eyebrows waiting for her to explain, his arms crossed over his chest. She set the statue onto the sitting room table, it's deep eyes peering endlessly out.

“It is an incorrect practice presenting it like this,” Michael began, her voice a bit unsteady. “I wanted to say this first, but you...distracted me.” Clasping her hands together in that old habit of hers, she kept her eyes on the horga’hn.

“On this trip, I have felt many emotions. Some that I have not fully experienced before. But this trip...meeting you...has revealed more than I ever thought possible. I don’t know what tomorrow will be, I don’t know where we’ll be, but I recognize how important it is to express this.” She stepped towards him and took his hand. When he intertwined their fingers, she felt a wave of comfort pass over her.

“I want you. In all the ways you said on the beach and more. Much more,” Michael said quietly, still feeling too shy to look up at him. “And I didn’t understand the Risian practice, their key ideology until now. So it seems only appropriate in their custom to say...at least for however long...all that is mine is yours.”

Michael finally peered up at Gabriel only to find him stock still. The only movement was his searching gaze and the slow rise and fall of his chest. Had she gone too far and revealed too much? Wasn’t a display of emotion what he had wanted? As they stared into each other's eyes, she finally realized what they reminded her of.

They were blue but not like the still Risian sea or the endless azure sky. No, his eyes were the color of a flame that reached above 800 Celsius. No wonder she felt so hot every time he looked at her. His very being exuded heat and desire and everything was revealed in those blue, blue eyes of his.

When he finally spoke, his voice was deep, barely above a whisper. “God, I want you so much." Gabriel pulled her into his arms, resting his head against hers. "I’m yours for however long you want me, Michael.”

Tears pricked her eyes and she forced them back. All this emotion over this single phrase, for this man. If she had thought even an hour before coming down to this planet that this would happen, she would have dismissed it as pure fiction. An improbable, unlikely fantasy. But here, at this moment, Michael was feeling more than she ever thought possible.

Michael smiled and pressed her lips to his. The touch of their tongues as the kiss deepened reignited the spark between them into a full-on flame. Gabriel maneuvered them until the back of Michael’s knees tapped against the settee and she laid down.

Her hands ran along his skin, mapping every detail. She wanted to be able to close her eyes and recall every muscle, every freckle, every scar. Her fingers began to play with the edge of the soft towel. Instead of fumbling to divest him of it, she gently palmed his hard length through the material. He groaned into her mouth before pulling back to kiss down her neck.

Gabriel’s hands were on a similar journey, making a path down her silk dress. She moaned seeing the way his large hands cupped her breasts. Her nipples hard and visible through the fabric. As if reading her mind, he finally touched them. His thumbs making slow circles dragging the silk over them, again and again. And the most guttural moan fell from Michael’s lips when he gently rolled the hardened peaks between his thumb and forefinger.

“You like that, huh?” Gabriel chuckled darkly before continuing his downward path. She groaned at the loss until he pulled at the tie holding her dress together. Gabriel leaned back so that he could see her completely. He ran a finger over the edge of the fabric, down the length between her breasts. Ever so slowly he pulled the silk open. Unwrapping her, savoring each inch of revealed skin. Michael felt hot under his gaze. The unbridled lust and unveiled awe upon his face laid as bare as she was now.

Her legs were on either side of him and for a moment she felt self-conscious. Michael could feel how wet she was, her want must be apparent glistening along her sex. Revealed to him. This moment felt more intimate than she’d ever experienced. What if her body's reaction was too much? Too wanton? Too wet? Without thinking, she moved to close her legs. The look of passion on his face transformed to one of confusion.

“Do you want this, Michael?" The way he whispered her name sounded like the sweetest honey. He removed his hands from where they rested on her hips and that was the exact opposite of what she wanted. Michael nodded frantically, needing to feel him on her hot skin again. “You need to tell me. Use your words.”

“Yes! Yes, I do! Please keep touching me,” the voice that escaped her didn't sound like hers. So breathy and soaked with need.

“Then spread your legs,” Gabriel said in a rough, authoritative tone. Michael blinked up at him in surprise. Did he just command her? And how could that be arousing? If she’d been concerned that he might see how wet she was, there was no hiding it now. She could feel it dripping between her thighs.

The command hung between them for a heartbeat, his eyes moving up her body and captured hers in a stare. She could tell by the set of his mouth that he was trying to hold back a smirk. He must have known what this was doing to her, the bastard.

"That was an order, Burnham. Now."

At that moment, Michael vowed to never be under his command. Or near him in any professional setting. She would never be able to hear him give an order and not think of this moment. It would be impossible to concentrate if she would feel like this the minute he spoke. Her sex aching, begging her to do something, anything to relieve it.

It affected them both as she parted her legs wider than they had been before, opening herself to him. His hands came to rest on her inner thighs, fingers caressing the soft skin.

"God, you’re so beautiful,” he whispered before bowing down to take her right nipple between his lips. Her back arched up when he licked it slow. Each movement of his tongue sending electric shocks through her. Then kissed his way to the other to give it the same attention.

He glanced up at her and she was unable to hold back a moan as he moved down her body. Kneeling on the ground, he was now at level between her parted thighs. The teasing never ended though. Now he was leaving a trail of light kisses up her legs to her inner thighs but instead of going any higher—where she wanted his mouth—he started anew on her other toned calf. It was torturous. Absolutely maddening. And her fingers found their way into his hair, gripping the dark strands.

The mischievous look he sent her made her groan with anticipation and frustration. “Gabriel, please.”

He gave a low, throaty laugh and then dragged his eyes back down and she squirmed under his gaze.

“Honey, your pussy is so wet for me," said Gabriel in awe. Michael felt the heat rise to her face at the use of that word. Vulgar but sounded so good from his mouth.

To highlight his point, Gabriel ran two fingers along the folds of her dripping core. The smooth motion made her hips buck off the settee. Parting her with those fingers, he leaned forward and kissed her there. Right there. His tongue slow in its exploration, teasing her entrance before swiping a path up to her clit. Flicking his tongue over it again and again until the room filled with the sound and Michael’s moans.

One of his fingers teased at her entrance, while his tongue circled over the tight bundle of nerves. It dipped inside her, shallow at first. Until finally he pushed his finger in deep to his knuckle. Desperate to feel more, Michael raised her hips in the same rhythm he’d set by his finger and tongue. He looked up at her, his eyes wild with desire, hair mussed from her fingers.

"You taste so damn good...so sweet," he groaned out. The combination of everything was too much. His words, the light scratch off his beard against her thigh. The movement of now two fingers inching in and out of her tight entrance was too much. Bringing her to the precipice. She was so damn close. Michael's back arched, her whole body tense.

The rhythm of his fingers sped up, pumping in and out of her. She glanced down and he looked straight into her eyes then sucked her clit hard. Michael could barely contain the scream of pure pleasure. Her whole body shook as she came hard. Harder than she'd thought possible, her eyes locked in his blue gaze. His face remained buried between her legs, mouth still at work, helping her ride out the strongest orgasm of her life.

As sensory overload set in, Michael moved back to lay flat on the settee, trying to catch her breath. She glanced down at him still sitting between her legs and the adoration in his eyes made her heart jump. 

"I wondered how you'd look when you came with my mouth on you," he said in that deep voice of his, tinged heavy with that southern drawl. 

"I assume I met expectations?" She stretched out, arms over her head and smiled at him. Confident of his answer.

“Above and beyond,” he replied with a sly smile and stood, untying the towel. Gabriel was finally, completely naked in front of her. Her gaze moved down his strong chest and muscled thighs. Now she understood why he’d taken his time earlier removing the slip of fabric from her body.

Looking at the proof of his arousal made her pulse quicken. Hard and long, it stood proud and she didn't want to touch him only to give him pleasure. Now she wanted to commit it to memory, feel every inch of it. 

Propping herself up, she reached out and took him in her hand. Ran her fingers along the smooth skin, stroking slow, paying attention to her grip. When his head fell back letting out a deep moan, she continued whatever she’d been doing, whatever he liked.

He gazed down at her with heavy-lidded eyes and he cupped her chin. His thumb stroked along her bottom lip and she considered tasting him. Taking him into her mouth until he was overwhelmed, brought over the edge just by her tongue and lips alone. But a part of her was selfish, so so selfish. His fingers had been wonderful, but this would satisfy the renewed ache between her legs. She squeezed her thighs at the thought of the hard thickness filling her. 

"Gabriel…," Michael said quietly, slowing her hand. His hips rocked forward to follow each stroke until she finally let go, running her hand down his thigh. "Go sit on the bed."

He tilted his head in question but he did as she asked. Standing on shaky legs, it took Michael a moment to find her balance.

Gabriel found his place on the edge of the bed, feet planted on the floor, legs slightly spread. For a second, amusement bubbled up. Even naked with his member hard on display, he still looked like a captain. Exuding this dignified air. Michael couldn’t resist imagining him actually in the chair like this. Though a very slim chance of it ever happening, but it was a new fantasy she would tuck away for later. For now, she considered her next move. 

In a few long strides, Michael was before him. Bending down she kissed him gently and his hands rose to rest on her hips. Swinging her leg over, she straddled him with ease. The tip of him rubbed against clit and she smirked. Rocking her hips ever so slowly she reveled in it, using him to tease them both.

"Michael, honey, you feel so damn good." he groaned out. His hands on her ass gripped her harder now as she taunted him. Michael could almost feel his impatience, his eagerness when he flexed his fingers. A part of him must be tempted to take hold of her hips and thrust up. Michael leaned forward, kissing down his neck trying to hide her smile because she knew he wouldn’t. She was in control and loved it. 

While it felt good and a tad fun to give a little payback, Michael wanted him inside her just as much as he did. Ever so slowly, inch by inch, she dropped her hips, the head of his member pushing into her tight heat.They both moaned, as she was halfway on his cock and already felt so full and deliciously stretched. Gabriel’s mouth was slack, his hand in her hair, his other on her breast. His blue eyes trained on her with such desire and that’s all she needed to let go completely. Allowing gravity to do the work, she became fully seated on his lap. His cock buried inside her. 

Resting her forehead against his, Michael began to slow, making tiny movements up and down, grinding against him. They stared into each other's eyes, locked in it. Wrapping her arms around him, she had never felt so close to another. As she moved faster now, riding him, his hips meeting hers to keep the rhythm, which made them both moan loud and long.

There were times during sex that it felt strange for Michael. Difficult to maintain emotional responses to show her partner her pleasure. But everything with Gabriel was so natural. An unexpected pang began in her chest at the thought of leaving him in a handful of hours. Closing her eyes, she forced it away. It was time to concentrate on the present and the pleasure found there.

Gabriel's hands that were running down her back came to grip her hips, and in one move her back was on the bed and he was on top of her. She laughed in surprise and then with one hard, deep thrust had her crying out in mix of shock and pure bliss. Her fingers dug into his shoulders, he was deeper now and it felt so, so good.

"You like it deep in that tight pussy of yours, don't you?" he punctuated his question with another deep thrust and they both moaned. Speaking like this during sex was normal for some, Michael had seen enough adult rated viewscreens to know that. But she'd never expected a partner of hers to say it. Another wave of lust hit her and her hips jerked up, wanting more.

"That got you hot, fuck you're even wetter." All Michael could do was nod in response and wrap her legs around him. Her mouth could no longer form actual words now. Everything was a sigh, a moan, a gasp of pleasure. 

Hearing him whisper the dirtiest things, the intensity in his voice growing as he fucked her the way he sounded: rough and deep. Michael met each powerful thrust, raising her hips in time. The room filling with their moans. Breathy whispers, calling each other’s names like forgotten prayers. 

The feel of him inside her, surrounding her all became too much. And when he reached between their bodies to rub her clit, that was it. As her body began to tense, Gabriel must have felt her center tighten and groaned loud. For the second time that night she screamed out his name, back-arching, her nails digging into his back. He kissed her hard, drowning out her noises of pleasure. Their sounds lost into each other as they kissed with none of the same finesse. A wild meeting of lips and tongues. The rhythm of his hips became erratic and her legs wrapped around him tight. With one final tense thrust, he came deep inside her and fucked her over the edge into her own orgasm that left her shaking. For the second time that night they both saw fireworks.

"That was exceptional," Michael breathed out. She glanced over at Gabriel who had rolled onto his side. He was watching her with the most satisfied look she'd ever seen. His fingers playing with one of her curls and it bounced back into place. 

"Very, very exceptional," he said with a warm smile and pulled her into his arms. They stayed like that for a bit, curled into one another, basking in the glow. But a sense of unease slowly shadowed over the contented calm and when Michael glanced at the clock near his bed, she knew why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know how I said this was the last chapter? Well, I lied. I'll hopefully have the next chapter up soon. Thank you to everyone who has been keeping up so far and if you haven't already please leave me a comment below.


	7. Chapter 7

With her head resting on his shoulder, it would have been easy to drift off into sleep. Especially with the calming rise and fall of his chest, his warmth surrounding her. But she forced her eyes to stay open.

Michael’s ability to feel the passing of time was uncanny. It didn't matter how long she'd been traveling through the inky black of space. Her body adjusted to the ship's night and day program, but a part of her always knew when the Vulcan sun should be on her skin. Time was as noticeable as it might have been for the white rabbit and his ticking gold pocket watch.

When she peeked over Gabriel’s shoulder at the clock, the uneasiness in the pit of her stomach grew. Her initial estimate had been off by 30 minutes. It was 2130 hours.

Glancing up at Gabriel, his eyes were closed. Not only was time dwindling but he was dozing off. She poked his shoulder and his sleepy blue eyes blinked open. 

"I'm up, I'm up," he said through a yawn and then he gave her a lazy smile. Michael wriggled in his grasp which tightened now that he was more alert. 

"Where are you going?" 

"To the bathroom to freshen up." 

After some playful pleading, Gabriel released Michael, unwrapping their tangled limbs. Even in the well-regulated room, once she’d slipped out from his side, she felt the loss of his warmth immediately. A chill ran down her spine. Standing with a small stretch, she reached for a quilt that had fallen crumpled on the floor. 

"I'll be back momentarily. Please don't fall asleep."

"Honey, I wasn't planning on it." Gabriel's eyes ran along her body. Michael was unsure if it was from his gaze or the coolness of the room that made her nipples harden. He'd called her 'honey' again in that drawl of his. She liked it. It created a verbal familiarity, a closeness. 

Pulling the quilt around her, she caught Gabriel’s smirk. 

"What?" Michael asked, standing up straighter even as the abundance of quilt tried to swallow her up. 

"Oh nothing…," he trailed off. His eyes gleamed with mischief as he laid back against the pillows, arms behind his head. "I was under the impression you weren't shy about being naked." 

At his readjustment, the sheet that had been covering him inched down his torso. Michael had a sudden urge to leave kisses over the skin and further down. Then realized she could if she wanted to and a pleasant warmth spread over her. 

"It has nothing to do with modesty. It's cold." Her grip on the quilt loosened, seeing through him and shot him a mock glare. "You just want to watch me walk around naked."

"I don't need to." Gabriel smiled and his eyes fluttered closed. "Though I won't argue if you do.” 

"Do not fall asleep." Michael let the quilt drop to the floor and Gabriel's eyes opened at the sound of rustling fabric. The look of desire returned to their blue depths immediately. Michael allowed him a moment to take her in before she crawled up on the bed. Leaving the softest kisses along his stomach, she trailed up his chest. Out of curiosity, she licked his nipple and smiled at the low groan that greeted her. Once she reached his lips, she leaned in and whispered. "Go make us coffee. I need to freshen up." 

And before he could get his hands on her, she leaped from the bed and strode out the door. She couldn't stop herself from laughing at the frustrated way he called after her. 

* * *

From the bathroom, she could hear the faint sound of the doorbell, hushed voices, and then the firm slide of the door’s security lock. Michael exited the bathroom to find Gabriel, leaning against the kitchenette counter. She gave a pointed glance at the low hanging pair of shorts on his hips and he smirked, raising his glass to her. On the counter, a very large coffee carafe sat beside a platter of exotic fruit and chocolates. Gabriel slid an empty mug over to her. 

“Thank you for ordering this,” Michael said as the steaming hot coffee hit the bottom of her mug. It smelled like hazelnut and she took a slow sip. As she scanned over the variety of fruits, a thin vial of liquid caught her eye. It was set further away from everything else. 

“What’s that?” 

“Lube,” Gabriel replied nonchalantly and Michael almost choked on her coffee. 

"You...you could order that?" 

Gabriel took a swig from his mug and shrugged. "It’s Risa. It was on the menu. And I like to be prepared when possible."

“Well, I don't believe we require it." Her voice sounded strained even to her ears. Maybe she was incorrect about her body's response. Maybe her concern about being too wet was incorrect. She could recall reading about that issue in articles she’d come across. With other partners, she might have had that problem, but with him, there was no difficulty for her body to respond. Michael glanced at his chest and felt the familiar throbbing return between her legs. 

A flash of concern passed over him then realization. "Honey, you get unbelievably wet for me." At his words, Michael's body decided to prove him right and she pressed her thighs closer together. "But you're back on duty tomorrow, right?" Michael nodded.

"Well, I plan to make love to you as many times as possible tonight," he said, lifting the vial in his other hand. The gel just barely moving inside the container. "And if you're up for that, I don't want to take any chances of you standing at your station feeling sore." 

She could imagine it. Working at her console and feeling a twinge of soreness. A reminder of their incessant copulation. Michael could already imagine how the physical feeling would manifest to something emotional. Something bittersweet and melancholy. A yearning for more and realizing it might be a long time until she ever felt that way again. At that sobering thought, Michael looked over at Gabriel. 

"I hadn't considered that. Thank you for thinking ahead." She smiled into her cup then finished it off in a few sips. Michael set it down and then hopped up onto the counter. Gabriel's eyes widened in surprise then darkened with lust. "Would you like to show me the benefits of lubrication now or later?" 

The hard clink of his mug on the far side of the counter in response made her smile. 

When he pulled her off the counter and whispered for her to bend over against it, she didn't hesitate. But Michael wasn't sure she'd like facing away from him. It added to her lust to see each emotion and the pleasure she gave him play across his features. But as her face rested against the cool granite, the new angle of him inside her was a delicious compromise. Each throaty groan and whispered promise to make her cum hard seemed even more intense. 

Michael couldn't resist even though it might cause her neck to ache. She looked at Gabriel from over her shoulder and another moan escaped her at the sight. His head was thrown back revealing the long column of his throat, the beads of sweat dripping down his chest. Michael pushed her hips back hard in time with his thrust and he slid in deeper making them both groan loud. 

Gabriel's eyes snapped to hers, but never drifted closed again. They stayed locked on each other. Intense and wild and untamed. The grip he had on her hips might leave bruises, but Michael didn't care. Not when he made her cum so hard it was only him and the counter that allowed her to stay standing. 

In the end, Michael decided she liked this position and lube very, very much. 

* * *

After they each took a turn in the bathroom, they made their way back to bed. Their mugs sat on the side table along with the carafe, the platter of food on the bed between them. The next hour or so spent talking and kissing when the moment struck them. Michael couldn't help herself and in the middle of one of his stories she'd lean in and kiss him because she could. The thought of being so comfortable made her almost as light headed as his kisses did in return. 

Eventually, they finished the fruit and half the carafe. Also, Michael had underestimated the extent of Gabriel's sweet tooth. He began hoarding all the chocolate on his side of the platter and she had to sneak or trade for pieces of the rich dark chocolate. 

By 2300 hours, Michael had returned to her place curled up at his side, his fingers making patterns down her back. 

"What would you have done if we hadn't met? I think I would have visited more historical sites."

Gabriel yawned before answering. "Probably fallen asleep on the beach. Woke up burnt, my book and bag stolen."

"Oh yes because everyone loves...." Michael squinted at the book sitting beside their half-empty cups. "Advanced Tactical Strategy by Ederson?" She couldn't hide the surprise from her voice. It was a standard Starfleet textbook. While Michael had not attended Starfleet Academy, she collected the textbooks when she first joined the Shenzhou to learn more of their perspectives and practices. It seemed strange that a captain would be reading it. 

"It's the updated edition." 

Michael wracked her brain of the academy schedule and then sat up, the sheet pooling into her lap. "Wait, really? That's not supposed to be released for another seven months." 

"Well, almost updated. I found some extra edits that need to happen." Gabriel shrugged at her look of surprise. "Ederson wanted my input this round."

She clambered on top of him to reach for the book and Gabriel chuckled. "All that talk but see someone might be interested enough to lift it." 

Michael flipped through the book and Gabriel’s countless marks in the margins. On the page for a title chapter, he’d marked an ‘X’ through it and beside it _‘half this chapter is useless and a waste’_. When she had first read through the previous edition, she had agreed wholeheartedly. 

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Put it back, you can borrow it."

She looked down in surprise and smiled "Really? It'll be nice to discuss." 

"Mhmm...real nice. But I've got something else you might be interested in." 

She laughed, "And what's that?" Gabriel responded by placing his hands on her hips to lower her to sit completely in his lap and ground up to let her feel how hard he was. With a snap she closed the book, and gently rocked against him. 

"I believe you might be right about that," Michael said in a breathy voice. She began to move and position herself so she could ride him again, but then a lingering thought passed through her mind. While there was no requirement to reciprocate, the desire to was undeniable. Michael was surprised by her reaction, the way her mouth watered at the thought of it. 

Placing the book beside him, she leaned down and kissed along his chest, down his abs. Tossing the sheet covering them to the side. Michael glanced up at him as she continued her journey, teasing with nips and licks along his hips. After a moment's pause, she brushed her lips against the tip of his cock. Gabriel’s hands were white-knuckled fists by his side when her tongue made a tentative flick along the head. Stretching her hand out she lifted his own and kissed the palm of his hand. He looked at her, eyes clouded with lust and confusion. His thumb ran along her bottom lip and she whispered, “will you guide me?” 

Gabriel nodded, his fingers gently resting in her hair. She wanted to do this right for him.

When she finally took him fully into her mouth, he groaned out her name. Repeated it again and again. The honeyed sweetness of his voice coated each consonant and vowel. As he drew closer to the edge, she noticed that Gabriel's expression had shifted. He looked at her as if she was something to be worshiped and at this moment Michael would let him. 

* * *

Michael wished they had gone to her room. Her room did not have the clock displayed, but his did. The blue numbers shone bright, taunting her. Each time she glanced at it, the numbers seemed to increase faster and faster. She wanted to cover it, knock it off the wall. Close the curtains tight to hide the movement of the moons. Bury their heads in the proverbial sands of time and pretend they couldn’t see anything but each other. Pretend they had longer. 

As it approached 0100 hours, Michael studied his face, her finger tracing along his lower lip. His arm around her tightened, their legs still tangled together. Gabriel seemed to feel her tension and ran his hand ran down her back. His fingers slow down each vertebra of her spine, making her shiver. It was soothing, distracting. 

"Michael?" He said softly, her head tucked in the crook of his shoulder not looking at him. 

I'm fine," she said, her voice unsteady. 

"Yeah, you sure sound fine." The rumble of his chest as he said it made her twist her lips to keep from smiling.

"I need to get ready soon." Michael lifted her head to peek up at him. 

Gabriel's eyes closed, brows furrowed and instead of unlocking his limbs from hers, he pulled her closer. The gnawing sadness grew in her chest, a heaviness returning. But this is where her Vulcan methods to reduce emotion weighed in her favor and she forced it back. Forced it all back to stay present.

"I'll talk to Georgiou," he whispered. At first, Michael assumed it was a poor joke, then saw the serious steely look in his blue eyes. For a moment she was tempted to give in, to find some excuse to stay here with him even for a few more hours. 

“Gabriel, that would be highly inappropriate," she said quiet and solemn. 

With a deep sigh, he rolled over onto his back, forearm flung over his eyes. 

“I wish…” Michael started to say, but the words lost themselves. There were so many things to hope for, to consider. He brought his arm back down, his eyes trained on her. “I want to stay, but—.”

“Eventually the Buran will be back for me too. But we’ve got." He squinted over at the clock. "Another two hours until you need to be packed and heading to the transporter.” 

“Correct.” Michael nodded.

“So let’s make the most of it.”

Gabriel was considerate and took his time as she was slightly sore. But it offered them a chance to languish in it, stretching out the moment for as long as they could. When Michael came again, she tried to blink away her tears. A mixture of the overwhelming pleasure he gave her and the sadness of already missing him. Already too far away, she could see this as a distant memory. Etched along the sand and gone with the setting of the three moons and the rise of the Risian sea. Something washed away with the morning. The possibility that they would never have this again filled her as she pulled him closer. 

And as she called out his name, the tears she’d tried so many times to hold back finally fell. His thumbs brushed them then kissed them away. Each touch of his lips bringing her back to the present, to their last few hours and the pleasure to be found only there. 

* * *

At 0230 hours, Michael reached a new intimacy with Gabriel when they took a shower together. The steam surrounding them, the warm spray overhead. They lathered each other up with the hotel's floral scented soap. He wrinkled his nose but didn’t object when she ran her hands along his chest and arms. 

Michael squirted the hotel conditioner into her palm after reviewing the contents. Not ideal, but it would serve its purpose. Leaning her head back, eyes closed, she started to work it through her hair until she felt Gabriel’s hands. His fingers met hers deep in her curls and she squinted at him in question, then dropped her arms with a small shrug.

It shouldn’t have surprised her how thoughtful he was, but it did. The way he gently massaged her scalp, rubbing the conditioner through her hair. He was so careful not to pull on the few tangled curls he found. She relaxed against him, the warm water streaming over them, and a new wave of calm and melancholy hit her. When would they ever have a chance to do this again?

Once they’d finished and dried off, Michael found the wrinkled wrap dress still laying on the settee. Tying it secure around her waist, she waited for Gabriel by the door. He threw on a pair of black pants and a grey t-shirt and then they made the quiet journey up to her room. Their fingers stayed intertwined until they reached the door. 

“Looks like you were in a hurry.” Gabriel eyed the clothes scattered across the floor, the duffel bag on its side on top of the bed. 

“I said ten minutes and I meant it,” Michael said and kissed his cheek before bending down to pick up the panties she’d kicked off near the sitting area. 

“Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the effort.” He said, picking up her sports bra and her knapsack she'd thrown down by the door. 

Gabriel wandered into the bathroom, grabbed any of the items she’d left on the counter and brought them over to the bed. After she securely tucked away her PADD, she brought her remaining items beside the duffel to organize them back into place.To make sure nothing was under the bed, she bent down then glanced back to find Gabriel’s eyes on her form. Her dress only a few inches from showing him her still bare bottom. His eyes flickered up to hers, a smirk tugging at his lips and in a few steps, Gabriel brought her flush against him.

"Gabriel." She tried to sound stern, but in the end his name dissolved to a soft moan. His fingers ran along her thighs, playing with the hem of her skirt. 

He reached over, lifted a pair of folded panties and dangled it from his finger. "I think you forgot something."

She pressed herself against him in an internal battle of want and time. They were already dressed, they didn't have time. She didn't have time. How could she possibly be wet again, how could he possibly want her again? But she was and Michael could feel him stiff and hard through the thin layers of fabric.

"Can I taste you one more time?" Gabriel whispered against her ear. 

"I need to pack," Michael said but stepped to the side a bit, parting her legs for his questing fingers.

"We're efficient. We'll multitask." And he dropped down to his knees behind her, raising her dress, his left hand still holding her panties. "Then you can put these back on after you cum, Miss prim and proper."

Michael had something to say to that but couldn't formulate the words as his devilish tongue went to work. When she didn't move other than to clench her hands on the bedspread, he smacked her ass. "Keep packing," he said, his words muffled. Michael tried to concentrate, but there was nothing in the world but him and his talented tongue. The clothes ended up thrown disorganized into the duffel bag so she could crawl up onto the bed. 

With her back flat and legs spread wide, Gabriel was like a man devouring his last meal in this world. He groaned savoring the taste of her, drawing it out with each slow, languid stroke of his tongue. It was torturous and he refused to speed up even as she grew closer. Finally, the flick of his tongue against her clit made her back arch and she came hard. Her left leg kicked out, her bag tumbling to the floor. Hands woven tight into his hair which he seemed to enjoy, rocking up into his tantalizing mouth. 

"I'm going to miss seeing that." He groaned, sitting up and running a hand through his hair. It was still sticking up in random parts from her fingers. 

Michael was about to reach out for him, tell him she felt the same. That she'd miss this and him and—then she heard her communicator. 

The beeping muffled from where it was in her bag. They were both motionless. Hesitant to interrupt and allow a third voice into the room, into their space and the last minutes of it. Gabriel was the first to move and brought the bag back onto the bed. Sighing at the jumbled mess of the duffel, Michael reached into the inner pocket until she found it. The golden device was only .7 kilograms and yet it felt heavy in her palm.

“Ready to head home, Number One?” Philippa's voice chimed out and rang throughout the room. 

Michael had always found Philippa's voice soothing even in the most life threatening situations. But she couldn't help wishing that she'd been forgotten at least for a few more hours. Wished she didn’t hear from her captain for the first time in their seven years working together. 

“Michael?” Philippa called out from the communicator. Gabriel motioned for her to answer, raising an eyebrow. Michael brought the communicator closer to her mouth, never taking her eyes from his. 

“I apologize, Captain. I was distracted. I will be ready for transport at 0400.”

“That’s quite alright. Mister Saru will coordinate your return with the Risian transport technicians. We'll see you soon. I look forward to hearing all about it.” And after Michael's half-hearted reply, she flipped the communicator closed. 

* * *

The streets were still filled with people. Some heading for a nearby bed, others heading to the next party. Yet, it was less overwhelming than it had been when they first walked these streets together. Still, they stayed close as they made their way under the glow of the setting full moons. 

As they entered the transporter station, Michael glanced up at one wall full of clocks showing the time from all across the quadrant. it was nearing 0400 hours. To be on time is to be late and she prided herself on her promptness. But Michael was ready to be late for the first time by her own choice. 

“When can you take leave again?” Gabriel asked as they stared at the large row of silver transporter discs awaiting her. 

“I believe next month might be possible. Two utmost depending on the Shenzhou’s mission at that time."

“Then I want to see you in a month.” 

“How would you even align your schedule?”

“Simple. It’s my ship and I'm the captain.” 

The unconcerned, arrogant air of that statement surprised her for a moment then her eyes narrowed. “That’s against regulation.”

“Is it? Now if your ship happened to go to a starbase and my ship happened to be there for routine maintenance...well, that seems pretty responsible to me.”

“Routine maintenance?” she said skeptically and laughed as he nodded with that mischievous smirk of his. "We’ll have to discuss and coordinate possible options.”

Gabriel glanced up at the Federation standard clock and her eyes followed. “You don’t want to be late.”

“A few minutes will be fine, I’m sure.” 

Muttering something about rule-breakers, he wrapped his arms around her. If anyone had been watching them, she didn't care. Michael couldn't be bothered once he pressed his lips to hers for possibly the last time. 

Gabriel kissed her as if he could hold every atom together with the force of his will. Keep her from dematerializing, keep her grounded and beside him. And she returned it with fervor, doing her best to convey all her feelings for him in this single kiss. 

For all his words, there were no guarantees when in Starfleet. They both knew that and it weighed on Michael. Again tears pricked at the corner of her eyes but she forced them back. Forced herself to stay in the here and now and with him. 

Michael’s communicator began to beep from inside her bag. Breathing heavy they broke the kiss. He rested his forehead against hers for a moment before standing up straight. Michael's usual irritation with Saru itched towards the surface. But when looking up at the time, it was already 0415 hours. No wonder he was trying to contact her. 

“I’ll message you as soon as I’m back on the Buran,” said Gabriel. “And I’ll see you in a month.”

Michael rolled her eyes. “Or two. Depending on our schedule.”

“I’m already looking forward to it.” He bent to kiss her lips once more. “You better get going before they send a search party.”

Michael nodded and stepped onto the transporter which began to hum. The lateral disc began to glow behind her, highlighting him in its golden light. Michael wanted to preserve every detail to memory. The tight fit of his grey t-shirt, hair still mussed, and his warm sad smile. Of course, his blue eyes. Brighter than the Risian sky and when they rested on her they were the color of flame. 

As the electrical hum of the transporter increased, he called out. “I’ll see you soon, Michael.” 

And in a blink, she was staring at the ensign on duty behind the teleporter console. Back on the Shenzhou and to reality. 

* * *

Nothing was amiss about her behavior. She made sure of it.

On the bridge, her work was impeccable as always. She guided the crew when she had the bridge. Completed reports and projects far ahead of schedule. Even her relationship with Saru was still in place both of them jockeying for Philippa’s attention. But an undercurrent of worry flowed through her as she waited to hear from Gabriel. Of course, she could send a message and would in a week or two if she didn't hear from him.

Everything was the same as it had been for the last seven years. Of course, there were new missions, changes to personnel or rank, but for Michael, it seemed the same. Everything was expected and it no longer satisfied her as it once had. It only took three nights for her life to feel forever changed. As if she'd undergone a metamorphosis. That there was something beyond this ship to care for. 

If it wasn’t for Gabriel’s note tucked between the pages of Alice in Wonderland, she could almost believe it was a dream. The anticipation to hear from him was almost too much. On her second run of the day, and her seventh lap around the ship she couldn't shake the quote from her mind. “Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been.” While wonderful, it _hadn't_ been a dream. As she stood by her door dripping with sweat, she decided that she would contact him. If she didn't hear from him as he'd promised she would send him a message soon to inquire.

As she waited for his call, other thoughts continued to creep into her mind at random intervals. What if they spoke and nothing of their time together could translate only through audio? What if it wasn't enough to sustain whatever it was between them? 

But then finally on the seventh day, she received a private, prerecorded message. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes to force herself back to a state of tempered calm. When she finally gave the go-ahead to the computer, Gabriel's voice flooded the room. 

"Hi, Michael. Apologize for the delay in messaging you. You won't believe what this idiot did." He paused, chuckling. "You'll get a kick out of it I'm sure. He's lucky I can laugh about it. Anyways, I'm hoping the Shenzhou got upgraded and can make holocalls. I need to see your look of disbelief when I tell you. What's your schedule? I'm free after 2200 hours." 

* * *

“Isik for your thoughts?” Philippa asked as she moved her pawn to the lower platform to protect her last knight. 

“Is that an old Earth phrase?” Michael kept her eyes on the board. “Amanda used to say that.” 

Philippa gave a small shrug. “Yes, I believe so."

Michael couldn't deny that her mind was only partially focused on the game. While she wanted to tell Philippa, it was not likely a topic she would broach soon.

“Forgive me, Captain, but I will need to cut this game short.” 

“Oh, really?” Philippa said, tilting her head. The question hung in the air and Michael knew Philippa wouldn’t accept a small side step into a new topic.

“I have a call to take in about twenty minutes.”

“At this hour?” Philippa smiled into her glass then placed it beside the chessboard. “The officer you met on Risa?” 

Michael blushed, attempting to keep a cool head as she moved her pawn. “Perhaps, but I’ll--”

“Yes, yes tell me in your own time." Philippa tilted her head to the side in thought before continuing. "I'm quite thankful you've moved passed your concerns. Having strictly peer relationships with fellow officers can be quite lonely.” 

Michael channeled every feeling and pushed them down to remain neutral. "Neither of us are direct reports to the other so it is not inappropriate. Otherwise, my concerns would be warranted."

Philippa's smile was like a cat with a full bowl of cream and the carton tipped over. "Oh...so it is a fellow officer?" Michael blinked in confusion then grew cross with herself. She'd never mentioned that detail and now her answer confirmed it. Philippa wasn't done yet though. "Someone of a lower rank?" 

Michael paused as she reached to make her next move. Perhaps it wasn't wise to allow her to assume that, but she couldn't tell her about Gabriel yet. Not until they'd integrated into each other's lives the best they could. They needed to attempt this away from a vacation planet and physical intimacy. It was possible that without touch that they would be unable to sustain the spark between them. It might not last beyond a single call, and a pit of nerves opened up in her stomach. 

"I'll provide you with more details soon but...something like that." Michael moved her bishop a few squares so it was on the edge of the third platform. "This is a good place to pause our game. We can continue tomorrow night."

Michael stood and tried to ignore how bright her Captain's smile was as she turned to leave. 

* * *

Her life had returned to discipline. Where everything, including herself, had a place and a purpose. In some ways, she now expected her emotions to finally remain ordered. After all, he wouldn't actually be here. That physical spark between them couldn't ignite under these conditions. So there was no need to be so nervous to have paced her quarters in endless circles. Or continued to tug and smooth out her uniform. Or fix her straightened bangs at least ten times. 

Finally, at 2200 hours, the computer announced an incoming holocall. 

Rolling her shoulders back, she lifted her chin high and accepted. Then out of the eerie blue glow, there stood Gabriel. 

Gabriel looked sharp in his uniform. His beard trimmed a bit closer and neater and not a hair out of place. The urge to run her hands through it was strong and she kept her hands folded tightly in front of her. 

But as his face lit up with that warm smile, Michael felt as if she was back on the sandy shores of Risa. Back to the beach and the sea. The way his blue gaze became full of heat when he saw her. The way he kissed her like it was the key to something unnamed and secret. Something to search for and cherish. 

Michael thought she had adjusted back to reality. A life of order and discipline. Perhaps outside of these quarters she had, but now? With one smile, Michael fell back into a dream she'd never really left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know in the comments how you liked this chapter! I know it was a longer wait for this update BUT not only did I deliver a number of steamy scenes, I also posted the next and last chapter...for this part of the story. Thank you for reading! 
> 
> Also a big thank you to AGDoren for a lovely shoutout! If you haven't read her Lorcham fic Adoration and Love Actually, please go do it soon. You're missing out!


	8. Two Months Later

The amber liquid wasn’t the same. Gabriel was right the replicators couldn’t mimic the oak flavor in a synthehol. Still, the glass was a small reminder of him and how he tasted the first time they kissed. Michael was tempted to snuggle back into her chair and pretend he could wrap his arms around her, but she had a game to win. 

“I can’t believe the Buran still has lateral vector transporters. Such a waste of energy,” Michael said as she took a sip of bourbon then captured one of Gabriel’s pawns with a flourish. Well, the updated hologram board added the extra flair of motion as the pawn fell to the table then out of view. 

“I never wanted to dock her for two weeks or more for the install. But the damn thing has been acting up so it works out for everyone.” The hologram of Gabriel sat in the chair opposite to her, frowning as he studied the board. After a pause, Gabriel moved his rook to the second platform. “Everything still on schedule on your end?” 

“Our mission to the Gamma Hydra sector seems to be standard maintenance. After that, we head to Starbase 3 to refuel. Best case scenario, we’ll have four nights. Worst case, one.”

“Being with you even for one is still a good scenario, Michael,” he said, his voice deep and teasing. She felt her face grow hot and tried to maintain her concentration.

While holocalls were wonderful, Michael had found a new appreciation for audio-only messages. The first time she'd received one of his messages, it was when they were on opposite schedules and wouldn't be able to talk that night. Michael immediately noticed it was sent over a secure channel and password protected. She didn't dare open it until she was secure in her quarters. When she did his voice filled the room. Deep and rough with some dirty promise of what he’d do to her. She’d been too shy to answer back with a message and instead prepared a response for their next holocall. But eventually, she got up the nerve to try it and would never hesitate again. His reply had been hot and laced with need and she enjoyed teasing him immensely. 

Crossing her legs to relieve some of the ache, Michael took a closer look at his chess pieces then tsked. His face shuttered from playful to serious as her fingers hovered over the second platform and his rook.

“A man of such strategy and I am perplexed that the fundamentals of basic chess seem to elude you,” Michael said. She kept her voice calm and detached knowing it would rile him up. In one swift move, she moved her knight and knocked his bishop off the third platform.

“I know them, damn it.” The hologram of Gabriel grumbled, shooting her a glare that made her smile. “You just excel at it.” 

Michael blushed at his compliment and watched him as he moved his rook, her smile only growing. 

“Thank you,” Michael said with sincerity before she moved her pawn to the lower platform. She placed her glass onto the table and leaned back in her chair. “Now take the queen I left open.” 

Gabriel slapped his hand against his knee. “Michael, you can't keep letting me win.” His hologram squinted at his side of the board trying to see what his next move would be. 

"Well then I'd always win..." she drifted off to allow the sound of her zipper being dragged down punctuate the quiet. Gabriel’s blue eyes shot from the board to her in a nanosecond. "...And where's the enjoyment in that?"

As they sat in their chairs both panting and coming down, her intercom beeped. 

“Burnham to Bridge," chimed Saru’s voice from the intercom. Michael was thankful she had the privacy setting on because if he'd called even a few minutes ago…. She blushed at how loud Gabriel had groaned and looked over at him. He sat there with that relaxed, satisfied grin on his face. His hands behind his head which only extenuated the muscles of his arms. 

"We must be approaching the downed relay." With a sigh, Michael dropped her leg from the table and reached down to find her underclothes. "I'll send you a message later if I can." 

Michael ever so slowly dragged her panties on with an exaggerated wiggle of her hips. His eyes darkened and remained trained on her. 

“I’ll look forward to it,” he said, his voice rough with renewed desire. 

“Agreed, but I might be delayed." She rolled her eyes, tugging her uniform into place. "Mr. Saru was suggesting the broken relay was intentional. We haven’t even seen it yet, but his persistence may cause us to remain here longer than intended.” 

“I doubt it’s anything, but you are near the edge of Federation space.” Michael began to rebuttal, but Gabriel raised a hand and sighed. “Look, it’s not impossible. Just...be careful.”

The rising irritation she'd felt now reached the surface. Risks came with her position and when she took them they were calculated. Designed to reach the most positive outcome of any given situation. To say a broken relay required a need for care was not only rude, but it questioned her competence as first officer. Michael already encountered that enough from Saru, never mind from Gabriel. So she responded accordingly. 

“I’m always careful, _sir_." The word was delivered with such venom that Gabriel's eyes widened in surprise. 

“Don’t call me that. I’m not ‘sir’ to you.” He frowned, his jaw tight. “I’m…” His hologram seemed to freeze, but his mouth snapped shut a second later. Standing from his chair, he rucked up his pants. 

“I’m your what, Gabriel?” She questioned softly, the spike of irritation subsiding. 

Michael had spent many nights over the last two months wondering what they were to each other. What she could call him. Boyfriend? When she mentally practiced introducing him as such to Amanda or even Sarek, the word made her laugh hard. He was a man, notably older than her and so far from the gangly image ‘boyfriend’ stirred up. Each time she’d practiced a new word, it somehow didn’t work. Her lover? Her partner? Her T'hy'la? Nothing ever seemed to fit except one simple truth. 

She was so used to needing to fight to belong, prove it by excelling. As if on cue, Saru’s voice clicked over the intercom again now ship wide to request her presence on the bridge. She sighed. There was no need to project those feelings onto Gabriel. His advice had been well-intentioned and when it came down to it, she had nothing to prove to him. 

Michael walked towards his chair as Gabriel zipped up his uniform shaking his head. “You’ve gotta go. We’ll talk more about it when I see you.”

“No, tell me." Michael stood in front of his hologram and the wish to hold him had never been stronger. “Tell me before Saru marches down here to get me.”

“I...well, I know I’m not your damn captain and I’m not trying to advise you like one.” He ran a hand over his beard. His eyes glanced at something in the distance, before landing back on her as he struggled to find the words. “I’m...whatever you want. I don’t have a label for it, I’m...I’m yours. Simple as that.”

During their holocalls, there were moments when space seemed to stretch around them. When it felt like he was sitting across from her, her mind filling in the blanks. Sometimes she thought she could smell a hint of his woodsy cologne. When their calls took on a more heated tone, space seemed even more inconsequential. 

There were times she could taste him on her tongue while she watched him cum. Her fingers feeling like his moving in and out of her tight heat. And when he’d groan at the perfect time, Michael liked to imagine that he felt it too. Felt the curtain of time and space parted just enough to allow them a moment together. 

She’d laugh at the thought of the universe being so kind as to give anyone that privilege. But at this moment, Michael gave a silent thank you as it seemed as if they were in the same room, in the same space. It was foolish, but she placed her hand over his that rested on the armchair. Gabriel glanced down, a smile on his lips. 

“I have also considered that and I agree.” Michael could almost feel the warmth of his palm, the intertwining of their fingers. “You are mine and I am yours. I don’t believe there is a title that adequately covers it.”

“I’m a bit old fashioned, so I can think of one but...we’ll get there.” Michael’s heart leaped in her chest at the thought of what he was implying. There was so much to consider, to think about. She stared into his eyes and for a single, irrational second Michael was sure their lips could touch if one of them tried. 

The loud chime of the doorbell made her jump and Gabriel laughed. Michael pulled her hand from where it laid on top of the armchair and the blue glow of his hand. Taking a step back she smoothed down the front of her uniform. “I need to go, but I will send you a message as soon as I can.” 

Michael walked briskly to the door when the bell rang again but stopped. She turned back towards him, her hand hovering over the control panel to end the call. 

He raised an eyebrow in question as he stood there, the gold trim of his uniform lining his broad shoulders. If it weren’t for the blue edge of light surrounding him, she could have sworn he was there within her quarters. Waiting for her to come home.

The words she’d wanted to say seemed lost on her tongue. Maybe once on Starbase 3 or with enough practice, she’d be ready to say it. Instead, Michael settled for something else and with her brightest smile she said, “I’ll see you soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holograms in Discovery is a new thing so I do what I want. Also, Gabriel won’t set up better transporters but will get holograms because it took less time to install and he’s impatient. 
> 
> My theory is that the switch happens sometime between now and in a month as the war begins. The Buran never makes it to Starbase 3 and when you combine an ion storm with a glitchy transporter…
> 
> After some lovely encouragement, I’ve decided to continue this story in two or three parts. Please leave me any positive or constructive feedback about Part 1. Your feedback will be really helpful while I’m in the process of writing Part 2. 
> 
> Also, make sure to subscribe so that you’ll be alerted when I update with Part 2 or any other Lorcham drabbles I come up with in the meantime. 
> 
> Thank you again for reading!


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